I am a huuuge fan of John Carpenter’s original Halloween franchise. Everything about it is perfect. There is nothing that I would change. So when I heard there was a remake coming out I was reluctant, but intrigued. I saw the Rob Zombie version of the first one a few years ago and I didn’t like it, although, I did see what he was attempting to do by letting the viewers in on a sneak peak of what goes into the making of the psychopathic Michael Myers. I just don’t think Michael needed any explanations. In fact, I think it took rather a lot away from him to have him portrayed like that.
Having said that, I do think the fact he tried something different instead of just re-hashing a film which didn’t need any improvement, would maybe appeal to some.
Onto Halloween 2. I know, I know, I’m way behind the times here but I’ve just never had the urge to watch this before now. Oh how I wish I had kept it that way. What a load of rubbish from start to finish. It stripped away all the intensity and terror of the original Halloween 2 with a ridiculous cast and script. The constant ‘dreams’ Michael kept having were absurd and almost as terrible as Sherri Moon Zombie’s acting skills. He spent most of the movie without the iconic mask on which completely killed what tiny bit of scare factor he could have had. The grunting noises he made with every kill and the fact that he ate raw dog were, what I assume to be an attempt of humanising him, but they only succeeded in making him the least frightening knife-wielding maniac ever.
Scout Taylor-Compton who played Laurie Strode (supposedly – see below) was just awful. Why anyone would choose her to play a role in which she has to cry and scream almost throughout is beyond me. She was very whiney and incredibly annoying; so much so that I actually looked her up to see what other films she was in so I could ensure I never have to endure her shocking acting ever again. As for the character of Laurie, this one could not have been any different. The original Laurie was shy and retiring yet very endearing. Not the new one, oh no. That would have been too easy. The new Laurie is trampy and filthy and a wild party girl with a serious mental disorder that borders on bi-polar. One minute she is a blubbering wreck, the next she is a fun-loving party girl with not a care in the world. How are viewers supposed to get behind someone like that?!
The script was embarrassing – the cameo of Weird Al Yankovic and the dreadful attempt at humour when he asks if they mean the same Mike Myers who was in Austin Powers is just a tiny taste of what I mean. All of the characters were very OTT in their personalities. If Rob thinks that this is what the majority of the population is really like then he needs to widen his circle of friends. None of them were likeable, some of them were pathetic and all of them were annoying. And what is his fixation with naked women and pure vulgarity? I’m not a prude by any means, but I think nudity only adds to the movie if it is needed. It was not needed in this film. And absolutely not on the scale it was provided, nor were the sometimes shocking and horrifically explicit comments about sex and necrophilia by some of the characters.
Brad Dourif who played the sheriff was quite cringe-worthy and I know this isn’t down to his lack of acting ability because in the role of Doc Cochran in Deadwood he was fantastic. Dr Loomis was, in my opinion, absolutely trampled on. The character from the original films was nothing like the character that Malcolm Mcdowell portrayed. In this version he was a chauvinistic pig who threatens women with violence. Hmm, not really the kind of person you expect a psychiatrist to be. Mr Zombie (if that is indeed his real name) went out of his way to make every single thing, place and person so different to the original that it leads me to wonder why, in fact, did he ever remake them at all? Surely it would have been so much better if he had created a brand new film altogether and done exactly what he did and crap all over it, rather than take what is a true piece of cinematic genius and turn it into a cheap, tacky, crude steaming pile of so called ‘horror’?
I have heard that Rob is now done making horror films. I can only go on the Halloween remakes as I’ve not seen any of his other movies, but I am thankful for that small mercy at least. I have heard a couple of his other films are good but I’m not sure I can stomach them just yet. I need time to get over this debacle.