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Rob Zombie's Halloween 2

10/31/2016

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Good Lord, where do I start?

I am a huuuge fan of John Carpenter’s original Halloween franchise. Everything about it is perfect. There is nothing that I would change. So when I heard there was a remake coming out I was reluctant, but intrigued. I saw the Rob Zombie version of the first one a few years ago and I didn’t like it, although, I did see what he was attempting to do by letting the viewers in on a sneak peak of what goes into the making of the psychopathic Michael Myers. I just don’t think Michael needed any explanations. In fact, I think it took rather a lot away from him to have him portrayed like that.
Having said that, I do think the fact he tried something different instead of just re-hashing a film which didn’t need any improvement, would maybe appeal to some.

Onto Halloween 2. I know, I know, I’m way behind the times here but I’ve just never had the urge to watch this before now. Oh how I wish I had kept it that way. What a load of rubbish from start to finish. It stripped away all the intensity and terror of the original Halloween 2 with a ridiculous cast and script. The constant ‘dreams’ Michael kept having were absurd and almost as terrible as Sherri Moon Zombie’s acting skills. He spent most of the movie without the iconic mask on which completely killed what tiny bit of scare factor he could have had. The grunting noises he made with every kill and the fact that he ate raw dog were, what I assume to be an attempt of humanising him, but they only succeeded in making him the least frightening knife-wielding maniac ever.

Scout Taylor-Compton who played Laurie Strode (supposedly – see below) was just awful. Why anyone would choose her to play a role in which she has to cry and scream almost throughout is beyond me. She was very whiney and incredibly annoying; so much so that I actually looked her up to see what other films she was in so I could ensure I never have to endure her shocking acting ever again. As for the character of Laurie, this one could not have been any different. The original Laurie was shy and retiring yet very endearing. Not the new one, oh no. That would have been too easy. The new Laurie is trampy and filthy and a wild party girl with a serious mental disorder that borders on bi-polar. One minute she is a blubbering wreck, the next she is a fun-loving party girl with not a care in the world. How are viewers supposed to get behind someone like that?!

The script was embarrassing – the cameo of Weird Al Yankovic and the dreadful attempt at humour when he asks if they mean the same Mike Myers who was in Austin Powers is just a tiny taste of what I mean. All of the characters were very OTT in their personalities. If Rob thinks that this is what the majority of the population is really like then he needs to widen his circle of friends. None of them were likeable, some of them were pathetic and all of them were annoying. And what is his fixation with naked women and pure vulgarity? I’m not a prude by any means, but I think nudity only adds to the movie if it is needed. It was not needed in this film. And absolutely not on the scale it was provided, nor were the sometimes shocking and horrifically explicit comments about sex and necrophilia by some of the characters.

Brad Dourif who played the sheriff was quite cringe-worthy and I know this isn’t down to his lack of acting ability because in the role of Doc Cochran in Deadwood he was fantastic. Dr Loomis was, in my opinion, absolutely trampled on. The character from the original films was nothing like the character that Malcolm Mcdowell portrayed. In this version he was a chauvinistic pig who threatens women with violence. Hmm, not really the kind of person you expect a psychiatrist to be. Mr Zombie (if that is indeed his real name) went out of his way to make every single thing, place and person so different to the original that it leads me to wonder why, in fact, did he ever remake them at all? Surely it would have been so much better if he had created a brand new film altogether and done exactly what he did and crap all over it, rather than take what is a true piece of cinematic genius and turn it into a cheap, tacky, crude steaming pile of so called ‘horror’?
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I have heard that Rob is now done making horror films. I can only go on the Halloween remakes as I’ve not seen any of his other movies, but I am thankful for that small mercy at least. I have heard a couple of his other films are good but I’m not sure I can stomach them just yet. I need time to get over this debacle.
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The Exorcist Episode 1

10/27/2016

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I came across this completely by accident. I had not seen any advertising for it which could just be because I don’t have much time for adverts and normally skip them when I can. I do hope that is the reason and not that there hasn’t been much advertising for it as that would be a shame. It’s on the SyFy channel in the UK which may already have some people rolling their eyes but please, give it a chance. I’m sure you’ll be very glad you did.
As a fan of both the 1973 movie and the book by William Peter Blatty which inspired the film, I was slightly worried this series would prove to be an unnecessary addition to the hugely popular and well-known story. However, after watching the first episode with relish and being so excited for the next one I can safely say that, for me this was not the case.
It focuses on the Rance family. The mother Angela played by Geena Davis is convinced there is something demonic in her home. One of her daughters – Kat - has become reclusive since losing her friend in a car accident and neither Angela, nor her other daughter can seem to bring her out of her strange mood. The father Henry seems to be suffering from some form of dementia which just adds to the pressure the family is under and Kat resents his illness to the point of being spiteful towards him.
Not knowing what to do Angela turns to her local parish priest Father Tomas and tells him of her concerns about her daughter and what she is experiencing in the house; whispering coming from the walls and things being moved around her home. Father Tomas at first puts it down to the fact that Kat lost her friend and to Henry’s illness. When he begins having the same recurring dream in which he witnesses a harrowing exorcism of a young boy performed by a priest he doesn’t know, he begins to wonder if God is speaking to him. When Henry says something chilling about where to find the priest from his dreams, Father Tomas goes in search of him in the hopes of finding his way in life. What he does find is a terrified shell of the man from his dreams who is haunted by the exorcism he had to perform on the young boy.
Will the disgraced Father Marcus help Tomas and the Rance family before it is too late?
There are some truly chilling moments in the first episode that stand it in good stead for the remainder of the series. Hearing the original theme tune from the movie was a great addition and only added to the subtle intensity of it. After having my (high) hopes dashed with Outcast this is a welcome return to the supernatural genre that I have been waiting for.
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American Horror Story 6 – Return To Roanoke Episode 6

10/26/2016

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After the possible finale of last weeks My Roanoke Nightmare I couldn’t wait to see what the second half of the series had in store for its fans. Would it continue with the story somehow or would it be a whole new story with different characters? Well, it did not disappoint. I think I am more excited for the latter half of the season than I was for the first 5 episodes!
Last week we saw everything was wrapped up nicely for the ending of the documentary. I was stumped as to where it would go next. The writers have trodden new ground for the franchise and split one series into almost two. I say almost because, although it is based on My Roanoke Nightmare it is a completely new premise. This week we are introduced to another reality-based slice of the AHS cake that we can really get our teeth into. It’s a simple storyline. The success of My Roanoke Nightmare was huge – a surprise smash hit, so what do all good television networks do with a smash hit show? Commission another. But this time they want to go down an even more reality themed route and bring in the real-life people who suffered in the house in Roanoke along with the actors and actresses who portrayed them in the documentary. Genius!
Cheyenne Jackson plays the power hungry, money motivated producer Sidney who is desperate for the spin off to become as big a success as the original. He doesn’t care about the feelings of the cast or crew. He wants what he wants. End of. The fact that some of them have had a difficult time since the show ended doesn’t bother him one bit. In fact, he seems excited by the potential of bringing even more grittiness into the show and to Hell with what the cast and crew want.
This first episode does a great job of re-introducing us to the actors behind the characters even though it is odd seeing Kathy Bates who we know as Thomasin White – aka the butcher – as Agnes Mary Winstead the actress, who it becomes clear has had some very disturbing issues since portraying the butcher.
Of course, Matt, Shelby and Lee are the same ‘real-life’ people from the documentary, but things are far from rosy for them. They never got their happy ending after escaping the house alive - Matt has left Shelby after she had an affair with Dominic Banks who played Matt in My Roanoke Nightmare. I know it may sound a little confusing but trust me, it isn’t. Lee is struggling to convince people she had nothing to do with Mason’s death and Angela Bassets character who played Lee is facing her own inner demons.
The actors make it clear they don’t believe the story the survivors of the haunting told, mocking them behind their backs. Snooty Audrey Tindall who played Shelby on the show seems the most vocal about it and she thinks nothing of flaunting her engagement to Rory Monahan – Edward Phillipe Mott – in front of the heartbroken Shelby.
Are their beliefs right? Will the scares come from the over-zealous producer who is hankering after another smash hit or will they be shown that the story told by the people who lived it was as horrifically true and terrifying as they said? Roll on the next episode as I can’t wait for my next fix of horror!
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 5

10/18/2016

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Well, what can I say but WOW! We’re only halfway through the season but it seems to have broken the usual mould and already ended the Matt and Shelby story. I should have known it was coming to an end but I was just so engrossed in every minute of it, it didn’t occur to me that things were almost at their climax. The blood moon was looming and, despite only being five episodes in the writers have done a fantastic job of wrapping everything up nicely. Although I would have been quite happy to watch another five episodes of the Roanoke Nightmare, I am seriously looking forward to where the next five take us.
In the latest instalment we see things hurtling towards the gripping conclusion (or so it would appear) as Matt, Shelby and Flora are trapped by the butcher and her ghostly flock. Is there a way out for the seemingly doomed family?
We are re-introduced (at long last) to a familiar face to the AHS fans. Evan Peters, just as brilliant as usual, plays aristocratic eccentric loner Edward Phillipe Mott. Being the first official owner of the land and the man who had the house constructed far away from humanity to soothe his social awkwardness, he resides alone, apart from his paintings and servants. However, his peaceful bliss does not even get going, let alone last before the demonic butcher lays waste to his idyllic home and life.
Intent on keeping his much valued solitude, he is determined to help Matt and Shelby escape the hands of the wicked Thomasin White and her clan before they are killed and forever condemned to reside within the same realm as he. Will his help be enough?
Another welcome return is from Frances Conroy who plays the hill-billy neighbour from hell. Just what are her plans for the Millers?
Whether it has finished with that particular story or not I honestly don’t mind because I know that whatever the writers have in store for us next will be just as brutally gruesome and horrifically wonderful and enthralling as the first five episodes.
Has the Roanoke Nightmare finally ended? We will just have to wait and see…
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 4

10/12/2016

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This series just keeps getting better and better.
When Shelby comes under attack from a half-man half-pig demonic entity they try to flee but they find there is no way out until the previous owner of the house, Elias appears and saves them by using a word of dark power against the creature. From him they learn that the occupants of the house have been haunted by the pig-man and the butcher and her flock going back to the seventeen-hundreds. Even the killer sisters who once lived there were petrified of the butcher who murdered them both in sadistic ways. Through Elias’ research they realise every killing made by the butcher occurs during the same lunar cycle in October. The blood moon.
The cycle has already begun and Shelby and Matt are in grave danger. Elias tells them they must leave but Matt is reluctant to go without finding Flora so Elias takes them to where Priscilla plays in the hopes of finding the missing girl. When they trio stumble across some victims of the butcher hell bent on revenge things go horribly wrong. Matt and Shelby flee back to the house where Cricket Marlowe is waiting for them.
Cricket tells them he knows he can help and leaves the house in search of the butcher Thomasin, to try and make a deal with her to save the couple and their niece. Instead of the butcher, he finds the witch. Understanding she is the one who holds all of the spirits within her power he barters with her and offers her Matt to fulfil her needs. We are shown the true lost colony and see the butcher sacrificing Priscilla to keep their blissful lives. When the butchers’ son, Ambrose rebels against her human sacrifices the witch shows her what she must do in order to keep her power over them and to stop an uprising and ensure their loyalty to her for all of eternity.
Cricket leaves with the promise to return later that night to help them save themselves and rescue their niece before it is too late, but he doesn’t return. Matt goes to investigate some strange noises and is lured into the cellar by the witch who wants to claim her debt promised by Cricket Marlowe. He is brought to his senses by the sound of Shelby screaming for him. He sees the butcher and her army advancing on Shelby and when Priscilla buys a few precious seconds, Flora is able to run to safety.
But Cricket Marlowe is in the hands of the butcher and she is not in the mood to barter. Will they survive the blood moon?
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Wolf Creek *contains spoilers*

10/11/2016

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I’ve just finished this series and I thought I would hold off writing a review about it until I’d seen it all in the hopes it would get better. It didn’t.
The first episode was quite good. It threw me in at the deep end with the savage murder of an American family within the first half an hour. The atmosphere was good with Mick Taylor being very inappropriate and chilling towards the family whilst keeping up the persona of someone just passing through. I liked it. You knew there was something very wrong lying just underneath the façade – as did the poor family. Seeing as how he had saved their son from being ripped apart by a crocodile they had extended their thanks to him by inviting him to stay for supper. A decision which would ultimately cost them their lives. Luckily, the teenage daughter Eve escaped with just a bullet wound.
After the first episode it started to slowly go downhill until it became nothing more than a rambling piece of nonsense. Firstly, the police didn’t seem too bothered about a maniac hunting in the outback killing families whenever he felt like it. So Eve had to take on the task of finding him herself. But what about the bullet wound? I hear you ask. It doesn’t matter. Eve seems to have some sort of magical healing powers which enable her to get over whatever damage is inflicted (like getting caught in an animal trap) within a day or two. How convenient. So, after stealing a police file on the faceless killer who murdered her family, off she goes to seek her revenge.
With her family dead she is alone in a foreign land with nothing and no-one, yet she manages to find the money to buy a van. And petrol. And food. And medical supplies. And, I would like to assume, a map because otherwise she must have a built-in near perfect sat-nav. Unfortunately I am only speculating on a map because I don’t think you ever see her with one, except maybe bar one occasion. A bit of happier news is that she finds a wild dog/dingo who she takes on as a pet. Strangely, it is the only dog or dingo I saw in the whole show. And no matter how many times it went off to do its own thing it always managed to find her again. Clever.
When she runs (quite literally) into trouble with the police in a small town she is arrested and taken to jail where she is thrown into a cell next to two rascals who leer over her like they have never seen a woman before. One of the men receives a call on a mobile he has stashed in his sock (guess there are no body searches going on there then) and Eve overhears a deal going down. When the chief of police who is looking for her to send back home and thwart her dreams of revenge arrives at the jail she escapes by climbing onto the knee of a sleeping man in the adjoining cell and hoisting herself up onto a very high window-ledge. There, she somehow manages to squeeze through a teeny tiny window that has no bars on because, come on, who would think that someone could escape through it? Tut tut. Poorly constructed jail if ever I saw one. Seeing the man with the phone in his sock released from jail she follows him to his house. This is a major flaw. She is on foot and he is in a truck. I have no idea how she found him. Perhaps that in-built sat-nav again?
So she is once again free and on the hunt. Coming across the house where the man is she sneaks inside and finds a bag full of money and a gun stashed away in a cupboard. Unfortunately for her the man and his family spot her and give chase until they lose her. So now she has a gun which is good because she is going to need it with all the rapists in the outback who have been starved of the presence of a woman. To say it is stereotypical wouldn’t be correct. Needless to say it is an unfair portrayal of men.
Needing to refuel and tend to her injured leg (from the trap) she encounters a group of men hell bent on gang raping and probably robbing her. Lucky for her a female truck driver arrives just in time to save her skin. Once she’s been patched up and had a cup of tea she returns to the petrol station to get her van and after a lot of menacing eye contact with the leader of the gang she is on her way again. I think it is just after this point that the same gang leader finds her and attempts to carry out the rape he failed at the first time round. Eve shoots him and leaves his body with a flower on it which the police chief finds.
It becomes a bit of a merry-go-round from here with her falling into the same situations with countless men and the chief almost, but not quite, finding her. However, the men she stole the money and the gun from do find her and they have a stand-off in a later episode which sees them falling foul to traps she has planted and eventually leads to her being saved by one of the (very) few nice men she comes across.
I’m not sure how long the series spans, but during it she finds a job in a bar and makes some friends who she is very close with and is even going to be maid of honour for one of them at her wedding. Until Mick finds and kills her that is. She is either the most well-adjusted or resilient young woman I have ever come across. Despite all her brushes with danger and death she continues to search for the man who butchered her family with nothing more than a dog (sometimes) for company. When she finds the parents of another missing girl she suspects has been killed by Mick she goes to their home posing as a reporter to speak with them in the hopes of gaining information. The info is lacking but what she does find is a psychopathic father who killed his daughter in his underground snake room and who then tries to kill Eve. You couldn’t make this stuff up. Oh, wait…
Bitten by a highly venomous snake from the man’s lair she is rescued by a nomad who wraps her bite and waits for her magical powers to heal her once again. Fully recovered, he then teaches her how to use a spear which she learns in record time, becoming incredibly adept at hunting rabbits for her supper. Gaining ground on the murderer she finds a book he has left for her which details the disappearance of his sister when he was a child. Ah. So that’s why he is a murdering psychopath.
Suffice to say she eventually finds Micks lair where he has the chief of police who, at some point in the whole debacle has fallen in love with Eve. Maybe it’s because he is only one of two or three male characters who hasn’t tried to rape her, but she is in love with him too.
The final encounter she has with Mick is both slightly ridiculous and cliché. Sneaking into his house she falls through some floorboards which is, coincidentally exactly where he buried his parents bodies years ago. Spot on, sat-nav. Using her newly found and quickly honed spear throwing skills she tries to hit him but misses so makes a run for it instead. Heading to his barn she finds the chief trussed up and in a bad way. He tells her to run but strangely when it really matters he can’t find his voice to tell her Mick is right behind her. A fight breaks out and the chief manages to free himself of the bonds that have bound him for goodness knows how long and the roof comes crashing down on him and Mick. Eve runs back into the house to get her bag and weapons. Arming herself with a fire poker as a make-shift spear because Mick snapped the other, she is taken by surprise when he throws his hunting knife at her and it spears through her shoulder. At this point there is a lot of animalistic grunting going on which was a bit over the top. Especially when she isn’t injured enough to stop her throwing the fire poker at him and pinning him through the chest to wall behind. Brick wall, might I add. She then takes the snapped spear and sticks both parts in him before pulling the knife out of her shoulder ready to use on him. He dies before she gets the chance.
Going back to the barn she finds the chief who cringingly whispers his love for her in a sickening, banal scene. Returning to the house she sets it on fire before falling asleep on the floor outside. Exhausting work being a martyr.
When she wakes the next day she enters the house which is still smoking, but oddly enough has escaped without its white walls being charred black. Entering the room where she had her final encounter with the serial killer she sees only the fire poker still lodged in the wall. Yep, Mick has escaped by extracting himself from a two foot long metal spike. Does she care? Nope. She just turns and leaves without even so much as a look of mild inconvenience. Laying out the chiefs’ body she covers him with flowers before wandering off into the desert.
You’d think it would end there but it doesn’t. Next thing we see her walking along a road when a truck pulls alongside her and who should get out but the woman who helped her and gave her a cup of tea. Getting in the cab of the truck she also finds her dog/dingo who was found two days before by the truck driver. Not bad considering it’s the only dog in the whole of Australia. As if that wasn’t corny enough, watching in the distance is the old nomad who taught her how to throw a spear. Considering she had travelled across what appeared to be many, many miles of outback, how lovely was it that two of the only kind folks she had met were in the same area watching out for her? Yawn.
Overall I was disappointed. John Jarrett was good as Mick Taylor but he could not save the poor and lazy script. I would be intrigued to know what Australians thought to it. After all, it’s neither a fair representation, nor a good advertisement for their beautiful country.
It has left it open for a second series which I sense is on the horizon. I truly hope if they do make another it is free from the eye-rolling repetitiveness and filler which has littered this season.
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 3

10/6/2016

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Like a gnarled and decaying hand of a zombie rising from its grave wrapping around my ankle, this has me well and truly gripped now. The third episode in the latest offering of horror was very creepy and just a little bit gruesome.
With Flora missing, Lee and her family have a race on their hands to find the little girl. Was she abducted by the weird hillbilly-family-next-door, or is something much more sinister guilty of taking the child? Lee firmly believes it is the former so they start searching in the woods for her. Finding part-pig, part-doll effigies that would make your blood run cold they feel like they are closing in on the answer. When they come across an abandoned house they are repulsed to find the state it has been left in. But something much, much more disturbing awaits them in the barn…
After the shocking discovery they are no closer to finding the whereabouts of Flora. As the hours turn into days Lee is losing hope until an eccentric and enigmatic psychic by the name of Cricket Marlowe (perfect name for this character!) shows up at the farmhouse, uninvited and unexpected. Assuring the devastated mother he can help find her missing daughter he tunes into his abilities and learns she has been taken by Pricilla, a dead child who up until then Lee believed just to be a figment of Flora’s imagination. Buoyed by the news he then delivers the blow of the cost of his services. Money they can’t afford. After Matt throws him out Lee sneaks away to meet him and hands over the money he asked for.
His return to the house offers viewers an eerie scene of a séance where he makes contact with the butcher played by Kathy Bates – a Roanoke settler who was banished by her own and left for dead until a mysterious witch saved her and gave her the power to exact her revenge. She knows where the child is but will she return her to her mother?
Matt and Shelby’s relationship is tested when Shelby makes a stumbles upon a shocking sight which Matt has no memory of. Are the forces of evil trying to divide and conquer? Can they overcome their problems? When Shelby calls the police on Lee, believing her to have murdered in cold blood it seems unlikely.
What do the long deceased have in store for them? I, for one, can’t wait to find out.
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