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The Exorcist Episode 9

12/16/2016

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Wow, what an episode! The transformation of Angela in the latest offering of our favourite horror series is nothing short of incredible. Whereas before she was likeable if a little dull (and her moments of sorrow never seemed all that believable to me), now she is cold, calculating and intimidating; a huge character turnaround for the better. I am thoroughly enjoying the new-found spite and Geena Davis gives a chilling performance.

Angela is, shall we say, detached from the death of her mother. With the police calling and asking questions she is forced to put on an act of grief which even the police find to be transparent. Luckily for her the chief and fellow possessed cuts her some slack and orders his men and the media to back off. We learn here that she invited the demon back to her so it would leave Casey alone, an invitation that is permanent. What Angela couldn’t have realised at the time is that even though it no longer holds Casey hostage inside her own body, the danger for her and the rest of her family is still very much real.

The satanic cult responsible for not only arranging the Popes itinerary during his visit but also for His slaying are more than a little surprised when Angela shows up at their meeting. Bother Simon recognises the demon possessing the woman immediately as Pazuzu and he begrudges her presence. Pazuzu demonstrates his power over all the other demons by bringing Brother Simon to his knees. Angela plans a visit to Mother Bernadette and her nuns where she kills them all; an example to not only the other demons but also to those who try to oppose them.

Father Tomas is lured into a new position as priest at another church by one of the many who want to see the Pope and Catholicism destroyed. I’m wondering if this is so they can try to recruit him to their cause. Time will tell.

Marcus comes across the murdered bodies of the only two people left who were helping him. On a mission he returns to Mother Bernadette and the nuns, only to find that they too have been killed. Going after Bother Simon he quickly gains the upper hand when he ambushes the priest in his hotel room. However, things don’t run smoothly for long when he is captured by his men.

At home the chilling behaviour of Angela continues when she tries to get Casey to tell her what being possessed was like for her. Then we see her later on with Henry in the bedroom where she coaxes him into a vulnerable position and then wraps her hands around his neck. Killing him would have been easy but it is more about exerting the will of the demon at this point. Casey is unable to sleep so she goes upstairs and sees Angela leering over the sleeping form of Kat and is disgusted to see her running her hands over her daughter provocatively. Knowing then that Angela is no longer Angela she rouses her dad and sister and they attempt to leave the house and the demon behind. Angela thwarts their escape at the last second and she is determined they will pay for their disobedience.

Father Tomas – acting on a cryptic clue that Henry unknowingly gave him – realises the demon has not been exorcised at all and he shows up at the Rance house just as Angela is torturing Casey once again.

​A priest who has sinned and one who has been captured by the very people he was trying to fight. Will they be enough to save the world from pure evil?
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The Exorcist Episodes 7 & 8

12/12/2016

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Episode 7
Father Tomas is leading a service for Casey but is feeling guilty doing so because he knows where she is but has been sworn to secrecy by Marcus who knows he must try to save her. If her family knows where she is, the likelihood of them taking her to hospital is too great for them to risk and the demon is on the verge of taking her soul completely.

The media are in a frenzy and swarming around the Rance home demanding answers about Angela’s previous identity. Agreeing to make an appeal to find their daughter, Angela and Henry are appalled to find the media are only interested in the story from her childhood.

Father Bennet tries to ensure the safety of the Pope when he visits and does some research into the façade which is the Tattershall business owned by Maria Walters. Maria attempts to throw him off the scent but he decides to do some further digging and what he finds is deeply disturbing.

Mother Bernadette pleads with Marcus to bring a merciful end to the suffering of Casey who is ensconced in the nunnery – the only safe place for her – by giving her a poisonous concoction. Torn between saving the girl and ending her torture, he seriously contemplates it but in the end he can’t bring himself to do it.

Angela is on a mission to purify everything to do with Casey so when they find her she can make her believe she is not tainted. She reveals that her mother never did that for her and it took her years to get rid of the feeling of filth after her own possession so she is determined Casey will not have to go through that.

The strain Tomas is under comes to a head when he gets into a fight with a stranger who wants a photo taken with him. He calls the only person he knows can help – Maria Walters – completely unaware what she and her fellow devil worshippers are plotting. When he is called the Rance family home he finds Angela delirious with grief and convinced her daughter is dead. Knowing she isn’t, he does the only thing he can think to ease the pain of the family; he takes them to Casey at the nunnery, much to Marcus’ annoyance.

When Angela enters the room, the demon resurfaces and finally Marcus can begin the exorcism.

Episode 8

The demon has Casey firmly in its grips and Angela, although happy her daughter is alive, has to suffer the ordeal of seeing what it has done to her. Her ravaged body is quickly deteriorating and it is difficult to watch what it is putting her through, rotting her from the inside out. Kat finds out that it was the demon she saw right before her car crashed and that it caused the accident in which Henry suffered brain damage. It has been trying to find a way to gain access to Angela and her family for a long time. It delights in causing physical tensions between Marcus and Tomas.

The exorcism is intense with it proving its power to all involved. It sends Angela back to the moment she first made contact with the demonic entity. Regan is playing with the Ouija board in her basement when something calling itself Captain Howdy comes through to her. Angela is forced to watch on helplessly as it takes hold of her soul. The salesman presents himself to Angela as she watches the replay of the fateful moment of her childhood. He makes her remember what, mercifully, she has forgotten up until now. He is furious Regan was the one who got away and he is determined to make her pay.

The exorcism intensifies until finally, the demon is driven out of Casey. I couldn’t help but think it all happened a little too quickly, especially as there are still two more episodes to go. I was wondering if it would concentrate on the side story of the Satanists who are intent on unleashing the devil upon the world. Before the end of the episode I got my answer.

Casey is taken to hospital where she has a long road to recovery ahead of her. The police want to speak to her in connection to the deaths of the ambulance drivers she killed when she escaped but as of yet, she is too ill to speak to them.

Father Bennet is accompanying the papal entourage and offering his advice as to what to do to keep the Pope safe on his visit when he finds out that even those closest to the Pope are involved in the diabolical satanic worship. They suffocate him before he has chance to warn anyone of their intent. It seems it will be down to Marcus and Father Tomas to prevent the evil which is soon to be let loose. Are they up to the task?

Angela is packing up ready to take her family and leave so Casey can recover away from the prying eyes of the media. Her mother is trying to help when an argument breaks out between the two of them and Angela reveals she remembers the not-so-affectionate nickname she gave her when she was a child. Believing her daughter remembered nothing of her childhood, Chris is taken aback and as she realises the awful truth Angela snaps her neck and hurls her down the stairs. The reason the demon didn’t put up more of a fight to keep hold of Casey is because he has possessed Angela, the girl who defeated him all those years ago.

A brilliant ending to the episode that left me wanting more. Now the demon is back where it started, who is to tell what hell it can cause?
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The Exorcist Episodes 5 & 6

11/29/2016

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Episode 5
Casey is suffering immensely at the hands of the demonic salesman and with the exorcism in full swing Tomas and Marcus have their work cut out for them. When Casey manipulates Henry into going to her she tells him a secret which makes him question his whole life with Angela.

The secret was a fantastic twist that I didn’t see coming. Angela is not Angela. She is actually Regan Macneil – the Regan Macneil from the film. The demon has been speaking of wanting ‘her’ and personally I thought it wanted Kat but nope, it wants Regan, the little girl who managed with the help of the church rid herself of the evil that tried to take her life. Henry is very creepy in this episode. I was convinced he was possessed and was out to kill Angela, so foreboding was his mannerisms.

Meanwhile, locked in Casey’s room the demon inhabiting her body tortures not only Casey but Marcus and Tomas also. It makes them bear witness to the physical cruelty he puts her through while intermittently playing on their weaknesses by pretending to be Marcus’ mother and Tomas’ grandmother. Tomas; less experienced and prepared than Marcus, is left shaken and he flees to Jessica’s house where he breaks the ultimate cardinal sin.

We again see the demon sitting astride Casey’s chest which, as I have said before is a simple touch that has such powerful meaning. While her sister is in the grips of the demons relentless torment, Kat tries to persuade Angela to get her to a doctor. Angela refuses so Kat goes behind her back and the police arrive to arrest Marcus who Kat believes is doing nothing but harm to her sister. Casey is taken to hospital in an ambulance. When the ambulance doesn’t make it, Kat realises what a huge mistake she’s made.

Angela goes to Tomas for spiritual help and she talks about her own possession and how her mother used her story for financial benefit. The scene cuts to what appears to be one of the most iconic images in horror; a figure in a black hat carrying a black bag standing in front of a town house under a street light while eerie mist swirls around. It is an image that immediately conjured up connotations of the movie for me. However, it is not Father Merrin who stands in front of the house, but Regan/Angela’s mother Chris Macneil.

Episode 6

With Casey missing after she attacked and killed the ambulance drivers – a fact that the public have not been made aware of – Angela’s mother Chris has turned up after years of absence from her daughter’s life to help her find Casey. Angela is bitter towards her for using her to get a book deal and make money off her trauma when she was young. Henry and Kat are slightly more welcoming and Angela has no choice but to allow her to stay at the house.

The community comes together to search for Casey while Marcus branches out on his own to find her. He wants to do it without Tomas who he says has too much to lose. We witness a ritual with the organs of the people who were murdered a few episodes ago, although it doesn’t become clear what is intended until later in the episode.

The influential and formidable Maria Walters shows her support for the Rance family, but her interest in the case is more than just concern for the girl. With the help of friends Marcus learns that one of the companies the Walters own is a mere façade and the vans are the ones being used in the murders of the people who had their organs taken.

At a party held by Maria Walters and attended by the police superintendent leading the investigation into Casey’s disappearance, the reason for the harvested organs becomes clear when a demonic ritual is performed with the guests hoping for their chance to be possessed by the conjured demonic entity.

Marcus finds Casey hiding in an underground tunnel along with many other homeless and possibly possessed people. She runs but he finds her and attempts to save her soul with prayer and faith. In a moment of clarity she tells him that He is coming.

​Could the devil himself be about to walk the earth? I am looking forward to finding out.
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American Horror Story 6 – Roanoke Episode 10

11/24/2016

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That’s it, another series over and a long wait until the next (sigh). But hey ho, at least what we’ve been treated to this year was, in my opinion, one of the best series of AHS to date. The teaser trailers had me anticipating something to do with the occult. I was completely wrong but in this instance I was happy to be wrong because what we got instead was a dark reality-based corker of a show which I have loved from start to (almost) finish. Yeah, about the almost…

The final episode in the latest season ties up its loose ends but left me with a feeling of slight disappointment. I didn’t know what to expect after we saw all but one of the cast wiped out in the penultimate instalment, but I had high hopes for the big finale. For a season so unique in that it stepped away from the usual template for which every other season has been based on, and one where it constantly upped the ante by introducing us to not one but two reality-style shows, not to mention its genius way of getting the most out of the actors by having them portray two characters, I expected an explosive and thought provoking finish. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t bad, but it seemed like a bit of an anti-climax after we had invested so much in it.

Lee is the sole survivor of Return to Roanoke. She has been on trial for both the murders of Mason and of many of the cast of the second series and has been acquitted of all charges by the jury who sympathised with her traumatic experience at the hands of the Polks. However, she did lose Flora who not only testified against her by telling the court she saw her mum kill her dad, but who then told her she wanted nothing to do with her. Having lost her daughter Lee agrees to be interviewed by the intrepid talk show host Lana Winters to tell her side of the story. Lana Winters. Name ring a bell? It should. Sarah Paulson takes on her third character in this season as we see the return of Lana who we first met in Asylum. It was a fantastic touch to bring back a character from a previous series; a series that was wholly fictional and not the reality based offering that we have most recently been served up. Even so, it took nothing away from either Asylum or Roanoke. I loved it.

Lana gets straight into the tough questions and when she asks Lee where Flora is Lee is visibly shocked. She had no idea her daughter was missing. When Lot Polk forces his way onto the set with the intent of killing Lee in revenge for murdering his brother, Lana bravely tries to talk him down. Having none of it he knocks her out but before he gets chance to kill Lee he is gunned down by police. I thought this segment was unnecessary. It added nothing to the story-line and lasted only a minute or two before he was killed. I can only assume they needed filler.

And so comes the fourth reality-based show we have seen this series (including the naïve social media glory hunters from the last episode). Here we see a run-of-the-mill, OTT paranormal group break into the house to document the happenings over the blood moon. As you do. Of course they have all the latest technology at their disposal and of course it does nothing to help them. They invite Ashley Gilbert who played Cricket Marlowe in earlier episodes to join them. Whether he is a non-believer or just angry that he wasn’t invited to take part in the return, he goes along willingly. Things turn a bit strange when he starts channelling his inner Cricket and talking about sensing things.

​Much to everyone’s surprise, Lee - who is there to find Flora - arrives and tells them all they deserve to die for being so stupid and returning on the blood moon. Although extreme, I have to agree. Are ratings really worth more than their lives or have they just not seen what happened to everyone else who has been at the farmhouse recently? One by one the crew of the paranormal show fall victim to the Chens and the pigman and the remaining members flee the house only to fall foul of the butcher and her flock.

Refusing to leave without Flora, Lee stays put. When she finds her Flora will not leave the house. She tells Lee she wants Priscilla to help her be like her so she can keep the dead girl safe from the butcher. In a final act of love and devotion Lee talks Flora into letting her stay with Priscilla instead so she can protect her from the evil of the land. Promising she can visit them when the blood moon is over Flora agrees and walks out of the house into the arms of the waiting police. We see Lee helping Priscilla hold her gun to shoot her in the chest before a gas explosion engulfs the entire house.

Flora waves goodbye to her dead mum and friend before being driven away by the police. In the distance the ominous flicker of the clans’ torches shine through the trees as they look on.

As I said, it wasn’t a bad ending. I just didn’t see the need for this one when they could have fitted the trial and Lees’ subsequent loss of Flora into last week’s episode. I found the addition of another set of ghost hunting reality stars slightly tedious and silly. I did, however, like the fact that no-one survived in the end. A lot of programmes shy away from that for fear of backlash but not AHS.

​All in all season 6 is my favourite series so far (bar the final episode) followed closely by Hotel and Murder House and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for fans next year!
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American Horror Story 6 – Return to Roanoke Episode 9

11/17/2016

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I have loved every one of the offerings AHS has dished up for the fans, but season 6, I have to say, is my favourite so far. We have been treated to a whole new concept in the shape of a mocumentary, been introduced to some fantastic characters who, love them or hate them have provided moments where you have to feel for them and been on a genuinely frightening roller-coaster of a ride which I am so sad is almost at an end. Almost, but not quite.

The penultimate episode begins with three thrill-seekers with high hopes of becoming famous searching for the notorious farm house from My Roanoke Nightmare. It was good to see Taissa Farmiga – a familiar face to AHS fans - making a return this time as Sophie, one of the intrepid trio of ghost hunters. Trekking through the woodland with personal cameras documenting all they see, Sophie, Todd and Milo come across a woman who looks like she needs help so they follow her to a crashed car and we find it is Diana Cross, Sidney’s assistant who was killed in a crash when she tried to leave the property a few weeks ago. Seeing Diana’s mangled body in the wreck the petrified and confused ghost hunters go to the police for help. When the police investigate they find no body and, believing it to be a hoax, tell the three friends to stay away from the house. Oh, if only they’d watched the video footage.

​Lee and Audrey find out that Dylan was booked by Sydney to show up at the house dressed as the pigman in order to add some scares. He has no idea that everyone is dead. Knowing they have to get out before the final night of the blood moon arrives they go back to the Polks’ farm looking for Monet and with the intention of stealing their truck. Dylan’s body cam shows him hot wiring the truck just before he is stabbed by Lot Polk.

Audrey and Monet make a run for it and end up back at the farm house. Audrey has the camera Lee desperately wanted and Monet watches it back to see why she wanted it so badly. The women find out she killed Mason. Meanwhile, in the woods Lee is injured and lost and one of the outdoor cameras picks up the witch approaching her and handing her a heart – a scene reminiscent of a previous episode when Agnes was given a heart to eat and the witch transferred some of her powers to her.

The ghost hunters go back to woods wanting to prove the police wrong and if they can increase their social media followers in the process then even better. They come across Lee who kills Todd. Running for their lives Sophie and Milo stumble upon the production trailer where they watch the live streams and see Audrey and Monet are still alive and still in the house. They watch in horror as the screen picks up Lee going back to the house. The police don’t believe Sophie when she phones them so she and Milo decide to save them.

They don’t make it to the house in time to save Monet who is pushed from the top landing onto a spike on the floor below. Audrey manages to escape to the cellar where she is pushed down the steps by Lee.

After making it to the house Sophie and Milo watch as the butcher and her crew disembowel Dylan. Escape is not an option when Lee finds them and hands them over to the butcher for her to sacrifice. We are shown a disclaimer warning us of the nature of what we are about to see, which is a touch I loved as it added more reality to it. It is a fair warning too as we see both Milo and then Sophie speared and then set alight and left to die.

The next day the police finally show up to a scene of utter destruction and death. Finding body after body they are shocked to find Lee still alive but disorientated. When Audrey pulls herself from the cellar and sees Lee she takes a gun from a policeman and tries to shoot her. Believing Lee to be an innocent victim, the police open fire on Audrey in order to save Lee’s life.

​So Lee is the only remaining survivor from the house of horrors. Will she still be alive by the end of the final episode? I have no idea but I can’t wait to find out.
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The Exorcist Episode 4

11/15/2016

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The latest instalment in the horror series takes on a new and unique approach which differs greatly from the movie and book it is based on. We get to see the attempts of the demon to take possession of Casey from her point of view. We see the struggle she continues to put up as she fights against the malevolent force and the tormenting and unyielding effects of her unwillingness to allow it to take her.

The last episode ended on the train where Casey had savagely attacked a man. This episode picks up straight after with Casey admitted into hospital for psychiatric and medical tests to evaluate what is wrong with her. The ‘salesman’ is with her the whole way and we see the torment and manipulation he puts her through as well as the physical pain as he continues to wear her down, determined to crack her and weaken her resolve so he can gain full control over her. The brutality of the demons punishment is realised when she is given an internal examination and burns are found. As awful and vile as this is, it is far from being an unnecessary addition purely for shock factor. It shows how far the demon is willing to go and how brave and strong Casey has been thus far in preventing him taking hold.

As Angela tries desperately to get her daughter released she is halted at every turn when the hospital inform her they have an obligation of care to keep her in for 24 hours. Not allowed any visitors, Casey is alone and petrified as her torturer incessantly goads and attacks her, allowing her no respite from his wickedness. Her only comfort in her world of pain is a kind nurse who is soon used for the demons own gains when she falls prey to him. Casey finally gives in and allows him full entry to her in order to save the nurses life.

Meanwhile, Marcus is doing all he can, visiting people Father Bennett has suggested - off the record, to try and find a way to help Casey and her family. Finding a tour guide who has a wide knowledge of the occult he learns that the rate of possession and ritualistic killings are growing rapidly. The guide believes it is because there is something dark and horrific coming which Marcus hopes to stop before it is too late.

He turns up at a nunnery and witnesses another demonic possession where the nuns are attempting to oust the demon through patience, forgiveness and kindness. A vastly new approach to Marcus, he is intrigued, if unconvinced it will work. Permitted to take part in the exorcism he has to push aside all he knows and take on the more gentle approach to save the man’s life. It works and he regains his confidence in his abilities which he lost after his final failed exorcism where a young boy died. Full of hope he returns to Father Tomas and together they prepare to confront the demon residing inside Casey. Although not sanctioned by the church, Tomas is determined to help Casey - whatever it takes.
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American Horror Story 6 – Return To Roanoke Episode 8

11/9/2016

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Crikey, what an episode! The producers are pulling no punches on this one. No-one is safe.

We re-join Shelby and Dominic who are trapped in the house with the butcher and her clan circling outside. Having murdered Matt last week when she caught him with the witch, Shelby is all but ready to give up until Dominic persuades her to help him get out so they head to the tunnel where they encounter the Chan family who were killed by the butcher years ago. They have no choice but to retreat back to the house.

Meanwhile, Lee is being held by the twisted Polk family who are intent on keeping her alive while they feast on her flesh. Mama Polk leaves her son in charge of Lee who sees she can take advantage of him and she eventually manages to escape – but not before having her ear cut off as a sick Christmas present from one Polk to another.

Back at the house after fighting off the Chans’ and the pigman, Shelby and Dominic barricade themselves into the bathroom where Shelby resigns herself to her fate and takes her own life.

Audrey and Monet are being tortured by the rest of the Polks’ who make a mistake which allows Monet to escape. They go after her while Mama stays with Audrey and continues the torture. Lee comes along and saves her life and Audrey exacts revenge on Mama before the two women make a run for the secret tunnel to the house and Lee finds Matt’s dead and battered body. Finding Shelby’s body Audrey insists she would not have killed herself because she played her for six months and knows her better than she knows herself. Thinking Dominic killed her, they lock him out where he falls prey to the pigman. Fully expecting not to survive, Audrey films what she believes could be her last few moments in the spotlight and, ever the martyr, she tells her fans how she would have given them so many more fantastic performances. Sarah Paulson does a brilliant job at making the viewer’s dislike her.

​They stay in the house until morning when they find Dylan - who played the butchers son Ambrose in the documentary - on the doorstep dressed as the pigman. Will he be able to help them escape the terrors of the house and woods or are they all doomed and just don’t know it yet?

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The Exorcist Episodes 2 & 3

11/7/2016

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Episode 2
We are thrown into the horror when we witness Father Marcus as a young boy facing his first ever possessed person – alone. Bought by the church when he was very young, this horrifying act is how they trained their future priests and Marcus knew from an early age he would be able to help rid tortured souls of their demons. Back to the present day and he is on his way to Tomas’ house having left the sanctuary of St Aquinas’ without the permission of the church - one of his required demands from them after he was excommunicated when his last performed exorcism resulted in a child dying. Perhaps against his better judgement he knows he cannot allow someone to suffer when he can offer them help.

When Angela Rance discovers her daughter Casey sitting alone at night and speaking in a voice that is not her own, she pleads with Father Tomas for help. Taking the video Angela recorded of her daughter to a higher power he is understandably upset when he is told she needs a psychiatrist, not a priest.

Having seen Casey for himself Father Marcus is desperate to help her and her family and tries to persuade Tomas to work with him, not against him. When a spate of brutal killings with a grisly link to satanic ritual – organs, genitalia and skin from hands and feet removed and taken – occur in one night all on the same street, the two priests are forced to admit there is something much bigger and more devastating than they could have ever imagined at work in the small town.

Episode 3

In episode 3 we delve a little deeper into Kats’ car accident and we find the ‘friend’ who died was becoming more than just a friend. We also get to see the demon, or the salesman as he is referred to, was the one who caused the crash. It is insinuated by Father Marcus that the demon originally wanted Kat as his vessel but when he could not gain access he had to make do with Casey. Believing the man is her friend and will not harm her Casey allows him gradually more and more access to her which he takes with relish, insisting she dress provocatively in a stolen outfit for a memorial for Kats' friend.

There are a couple of scenes where it seems he has an unhealthy sexual interest in the young woman and at first it is unclear if she reciprocates the feelings. Later we see she does and then he begins to gain more control of her, compelling her to attack a man which, although not entirely unprovoked makes for a very intense and unsettling watch. She exhibits unnatural strength as the possession deepens and her capacity and enjoyment for violence grow at an alarming rate.

Will Father Marcus be able to save Casey before it is too late?
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American Horror Story 6 – Return To Roanoke Episode 7

11/1/2016

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The horror starts immediately this week with the gruesome murders of the production team at the hands of Agnes, aka the butcher. We witness her rapid descent into madness told in a chillingly convincing way by the ever-wonderful Kathy Bates. Sever psychosis blights the actress and she sways between her true self and her portrayal of Thomasin White. Believing herself to be the butcher she wreaks revenge on those who ostracised her from the show and humiliated her on TV.

With Rory dead and no body to be found, his fiancée Audrey believes he has gone to Hollywood to take on a major movie role. Devastated, she doesn’t have much time to grieve for her lost love when Agnes attacks Shelby with a meat cleaver. Lily Rabe delivers an exceptional performance as the injured Shelby and later in the episode her acting is impeccable when she makes a shocking discovery.

In desperate need of help they appeal via the cameras to Sidney to send an ambulance. When no help comes, the remaining women decide to go and find some themselves. Escaping through the secret tunnel under the house, they encounter something more terrifying than the knife-wielding Agnes and both Audrey and Monet are forced to believe the ghost story told by Matt, Shelby and Lee.

Finally free of the tunnel they find themselves lost in the woods with the blood moon high in the sky and night quickly approaching. With the butchers’ tribe hunting for them they flee until they fall prey to the hill-billy neighbours from hell. Will they survive the depraved family? Robin Weigert – who I loved as Calamity Jane in Deadwood - makes a brilliant but disturbing appearance as the matriarch of the weird family.


Back at the house the butcher and her clan have arrived. Will anyone escape alive?
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Rob Zombie's Halloween 2

10/31/2016

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Picture
Good Lord, where do I start?

I am a huuuge fan of John Carpenter’s original Halloween franchise. Everything about it is perfect. There is nothing that I would change. So when I heard there was a remake coming out I was reluctant, but intrigued. I saw the Rob Zombie version of the first one a few years ago and I didn’t like it, although, I did see what he was attempting to do by letting the viewers in on a sneak peak of what goes into the making of the psychopathic Michael Myers. I just don’t think Michael needed any explanations. In fact, I think it took rather a lot away from him to have him portrayed like that.
Having said that, I do think the fact he tried something different instead of just re-hashing a film which didn’t need any improvement, would maybe appeal to some.

Onto Halloween 2. I know, I know, I’m way behind the times here but I’ve just never had the urge to watch this before now. Oh how I wish I had kept it that way. What a load of rubbish from start to finish. It stripped away all the intensity and terror of the original Halloween 2 with a ridiculous cast and script. The constant ‘dreams’ Michael kept having were absurd and almost as terrible as Sherri Moon Zombie’s acting skills. He spent most of the movie without the iconic mask on which completely killed what tiny bit of scare factor he could have had. The grunting noises he made with every kill and the fact that he ate raw dog were, what I assume to be an attempt of humanising him, but they only succeeded in making him the least frightening knife-wielding maniac ever.

Scout Taylor-Compton who played Laurie Strode (supposedly – see below) was just awful. Why anyone would choose her to play a role in which she has to cry and scream almost throughout is beyond me. She was very whiney and incredibly annoying; so much so that I actually looked her up to see what other films she was in so I could ensure I never have to endure her shocking acting ever again. As for the character of Laurie, this one could not have been any different. The original Laurie was shy and retiring yet very endearing. Not the new one, oh no. That would have been too easy. The new Laurie is trampy and filthy and a wild party girl with a serious mental disorder that borders on bi-polar. One minute she is a blubbering wreck, the next she is a fun-loving party girl with not a care in the world. How are viewers supposed to get behind someone like that?!

The script was embarrassing – the cameo of Weird Al Yankovic and the dreadful attempt at humour when he asks if they mean the same Mike Myers who was in Austin Powers is just a tiny taste of what I mean. All of the characters were very OTT in their personalities. If Rob thinks that this is what the majority of the population is really like then he needs to widen his circle of friends. None of them were likeable, some of them were pathetic and all of them were annoying. And what is his fixation with naked women and pure vulgarity? I’m not a prude by any means, but I think nudity only adds to the movie if it is needed. It was not needed in this film. And absolutely not on the scale it was provided, nor were the sometimes shocking and horrifically explicit comments about sex and necrophilia by some of the characters.

Brad Dourif who played the sheriff was quite cringe-worthy and I know this isn’t down to his lack of acting ability because in the role of Doc Cochran in Deadwood he was fantastic. Dr Loomis was, in my opinion, absolutely trampled on. The character from the original films was nothing like the character that Malcolm Mcdowell portrayed. In this version he was a chauvinistic pig who threatens women with violence. Hmm, not really the kind of person you expect a psychiatrist to be. Mr Zombie (if that is indeed his real name) went out of his way to make every single thing, place and person so different to the original that it leads me to wonder why, in fact, did he ever remake them at all? Surely it would have been so much better if he had created a brand new film altogether and done exactly what he did and crap all over it, rather than take what is a true piece of cinematic genius and turn it into a cheap, tacky, crude steaming pile of so called ‘horror’?
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I have heard that Rob is now done making horror films. I can only go on the Halloween remakes as I’ve not seen any of his other movies, but I am thankful for that small mercy at least. I have heard a couple of his other films are good but I’m not sure I can stomach them just yet. I need time to get over this debacle.
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The Exorcist Episode 1

10/27/2016

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I came across this completely by accident. I had not seen any advertising for it which could just be because I don’t have much time for adverts and normally skip them when I can. I do hope that is the reason and not that there hasn’t been much advertising for it as that would be a shame. It’s on the SyFy channel in the UK which may already have some people rolling their eyes but please, give it a chance. I’m sure you’ll be very glad you did.
As a fan of both the 1973 movie and the book by William Peter Blatty which inspired the film, I was slightly worried this series would prove to be an unnecessary addition to the hugely popular and well-known story. However, after watching the first episode with relish and being so excited for the next one I can safely say that, for me this was not the case.
It focuses on the Rance family. The mother Angela played by Geena Davis is convinced there is something demonic in her home. One of her daughters – Kat - has become reclusive since losing her friend in a car accident and neither Angela, nor her other daughter can seem to bring her out of her strange mood. The father Henry seems to be suffering from some form of dementia which just adds to the pressure the family is under and Kat resents his illness to the point of being spiteful towards him.
Not knowing what to do Angela turns to her local parish priest Father Tomas and tells him of her concerns about her daughter and what she is experiencing in the house; whispering coming from the walls and things being moved around her home. Father Tomas at first puts it down to the fact that Kat lost her friend and to Henry’s illness. When he begins having the same recurring dream in which he witnesses a harrowing exorcism of a young boy performed by a priest he doesn’t know, he begins to wonder if God is speaking to him. When Henry says something chilling about where to find the priest from his dreams, Father Tomas goes in search of him in the hopes of finding his way in life. What he does find is a terrified shell of the man from his dreams who is haunted by the exorcism he had to perform on the young boy.
Will the disgraced Father Marcus help Tomas and the Rance family before it is too late?
There are some truly chilling moments in the first episode that stand it in good stead for the remainder of the series. Hearing the original theme tune from the movie was a great addition and only added to the subtle intensity of it. After having my (high) hopes dashed with Outcast this is a welcome return to the supernatural genre that I have been waiting for.
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American Horror Story 6 – Return To Roanoke Episode 6

10/26/2016

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After the possible finale of last weeks My Roanoke Nightmare I couldn’t wait to see what the second half of the series had in store for its fans. Would it continue with the story somehow or would it be a whole new story with different characters? Well, it did not disappoint. I think I am more excited for the latter half of the season than I was for the first 5 episodes!
Last week we saw everything was wrapped up nicely for the ending of the documentary. I was stumped as to where it would go next. The writers have trodden new ground for the franchise and split one series into almost two. I say almost because, although it is based on My Roanoke Nightmare it is a completely new premise. This week we are introduced to another reality-based slice of the AHS cake that we can really get our teeth into. It’s a simple storyline. The success of My Roanoke Nightmare was huge – a surprise smash hit, so what do all good television networks do with a smash hit show? Commission another. But this time they want to go down an even more reality themed route and bring in the real-life people who suffered in the house in Roanoke along with the actors and actresses who portrayed them in the documentary. Genius!
Cheyenne Jackson plays the power hungry, money motivated producer Sidney who is desperate for the spin off to become as big a success as the original. He doesn’t care about the feelings of the cast or crew. He wants what he wants. End of. The fact that some of them have had a difficult time since the show ended doesn’t bother him one bit. In fact, he seems excited by the potential of bringing even more grittiness into the show and to Hell with what the cast and crew want.
This first episode does a great job of re-introducing us to the actors behind the characters even though it is odd seeing Kathy Bates who we know as Thomasin White – aka the butcher – as Agnes Mary Winstead the actress, who it becomes clear has had some very disturbing issues since portraying the butcher.
Of course, Matt, Shelby and Lee are the same ‘real-life’ people from the documentary, but things are far from rosy for them. They never got their happy ending after escaping the house alive - Matt has left Shelby after she had an affair with Dominic Banks who played Matt in My Roanoke Nightmare. I know it may sound a little confusing but trust me, it isn’t. Lee is struggling to convince people she had nothing to do with Mason’s death and Angela Bassets character who played Lee is facing her own inner demons.
The actors make it clear they don’t believe the story the survivors of the haunting told, mocking them behind their backs. Snooty Audrey Tindall who played Shelby on the show seems the most vocal about it and she thinks nothing of flaunting her engagement to Rory Monahan – Edward Phillipe Mott – in front of the heartbroken Shelby.
Are their beliefs right? Will the scares come from the over-zealous producer who is hankering after another smash hit or will they be shown that the story told by the people who lived it was as horrifically true and terrifying as they said? Roll on the next episode as I can’t wait for my next fix of horror!
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 5

10/18/2016

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Well, what can I say but WOW! We’re only halfway through the season but it seems to have broken the usual mould and already ended the Matt and Shelby story. I should have known it was coming to an end but I was just so engrossed in every minute of it, it didn’t occur to me that things were almost at their climax. The blood moon was looming and, despite only being five episodes in the writers have done a fantastic job of wrapping everything up nicely. Although I would have been quite happy to watch another five episodes of the Roanoke Nightmare, I am seriously looking forward to where the next five take us.
In the latest instalment we see things hurtling towards the gripping conclusion (or so it would appear) as Matt, Shelby and Flora are trapped by the butcher and her ghostly flock. Is there a way out for the seemingly doomed family?
We are re-introduced (at long last) to a familiar face to the AHS fans. Evan Peters, just as brilliant as usual, plays aristocratic eccentric loner Edward Phillipe Mott. Being the first official owner of the land and the man who had the house constructed far away from humanity to soothe his social awkwardness, he resides alone, apart from his paintings and servants. However, his peaceful bliss does not even get going, let alone last before the demonic butcher lays waste to his idyllic home and life.
Intent on keeping his much valued solitude, he is determined to help Matt and Shelby escape the hands of the wicked Thomasin White and her clan before they are killed and forever condemned to reside within the same realm as he. Will his help be enough?
Another welcome return is from Frances Conroy who plays the hill-billy neighbour from hell. Just what are her plans for the Millers?
Whether it has finished with that particular story or not I honestly don’t mind because I know that whatever the writers have in store for us next will be just as brutally gruesome and horrifically wonderful and enthralling as the first five episodes.
Has the Roanoke Nightmare finally ended? We will just have to wait and see…
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 4

10/12/2016

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This series just keeps getting better and better.
When Shelby comes under attack from a half-man half-pig demonic entity they try to flee but they find there is no way out until the previous owner of the house, Elias appears and saves them by using a word of dark power against the creature. From him they learn that the occupants of the house have been haunted by the pig-man and the butcher and her flock going back to the seventeen-hundreds. Even the killer sisters who once lived there were petrified of the butcher who murdered them both in sadistic ways. Through Elias’ research they realise every killing made by the butcher occurs during the same lunar cycle in October. The blood moon.
The cycle has already begun and Shelby and Matt are in grave danger. Elias tells them they must leave but Matt is reluctant to go without finding Flora so Elias takes them to where Priscilla plays in the hopes of finding the missing girl. When they trio stumble across some victims of the butcher hell bent on revenge things go horribly wrong. Matt and Shelby flee back to the house where Cricket Marlowe is waiting for them.
Cricket tells them he knows he can help and leaves the house in search of the butcher Thomasin, to try and make a deal with her to save the couple and their niece. Instead of the butcher, he finds the witch. Understanding she is the one who holds all of the spirits within her power he barters with her and offers her Matt to fulfil her needs. We are shown the true lost colony and see the butcher sacrificing Priscilla to keep their blissful lives. When the butchers’ son, Ambrose rebels against her human sacrifices the witch shows her what she must do in order to keep her power over them and to stop an uprising and ensure their loyalty to her for all of eternity.
Cricket leaves with the promise to return later that night to help them save themselves and rescue their niece before it is too late, but he doesn’t return. Matt goes to investigate some strange noises and is lured into the cellar by the witch who wants to claim her debt promised by Cricket Marlowe. He is brought to his senses by the sound of Shelby screaming for him. He sees the butcher and her army advancing on Shelby and when Priscilla buys a few precious seconds, Flora is able to run to safety.
But Cricket Marlowe is in the hands of the butcher and she is not in the mood to barter. Will they survive the blood moon?
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Wolf Creek *contains spoilers*

10/11/2016

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I’ve just finished this series and I thought I would hold off writing a review about it until I’d seen it all in the hopes it would get better. It didn’t.
The first episode was quite good. It threw me in at the deep end with the savage murder of an American family within the first half an hour. The atmosphere was good with Mick Taylor being very inappropriate and chilling towards the family whilst keeping up the persona of someone just passing through. I liked it. You knew there was something very wrong lying just underneath the façade – as did the poor family. Seeing as how he had saved their son from being ripped apart by a crocodile they had extended their thanks to him by inviting him to stay for supper. A decision which would ultimately cost them their lives. Luckily, the teenage daughter Eve escaped with just a bullet wound.
After the first episode it started to slowly go downhill until it became nothing more than a rambling piece of nonsense. Firstly, the police didn’t seem too bothered about a maniac hunting in the outback killing families whenever he felt like it. So Eve had to take on the task of finding him herself. But what about the bullet wound? I hear you ask. It doesn’t matter. Eve seems to have some sort of magical healing powers which enable her to get over whatever damage is inflicted (like getting caught in an animal trap) within a day or two. How convenient. So, after stealing a police file on the faceless killer who murdered her family, off she goes to seek her revenge.
With her family dead she is alone in a foreign land with nothing and no-one, yet she manages to find the money to buy a van. And petrol. And food. And medical supplies. And, I would like to assume, a map because otherwise she must have a built-in near perfect sat-nav. Unfortunately I am only speculating on a map because I don’t think you ever see her with one, except maybe bar one occasion. A bit of happier news is that she finds a wild dog/dingo who she takes on as a pet. Strangely, it is the only dog or dingo I saw in the whole show. And no matter how many times it went off to do its own thing it always managed to find her again. Clever.
When she runs (quite literally) into trouble with the police in a small town she is arrested and taken to jail where she is thrown into a cell next to two rascals who leer over her like they have never seen a woman before. One of the men receives a call on a mobile he has stashed in his sock (guess there are no body searches going on there then) and Eve overhears a deal going down. When the chief of police who is looking for her to send back home and thwart her dreams of revenge arrives at the jail she escapes by climbing onto the knee of a sleeping man in the adjoining cell and hoisting herself up onto a very high window-ledge. There, she somehow manages to squeeze through a teeny tiny window that has no bars on because, come on, who would think that someone could escape through it? Tut tut. Poorly constructed jail if ever I saw one. Seeing the man with the phone in his sock released from jail she follows him to his house. This is a major flaw. She is on foot and he is in a truck. I have no idea how she found him. Perhaps that in-built sat-nav again?
So she is once again free and on the hunt. Coming across the house where the man is she sneaks inside and finds a bag full of money and a gun stashed away in a cupboard. Unfortunately for her the man and his family spot her and give chase until they lose her. So now she has a gun which is good because she is going to need it with all the rapists in the outback who have been starved of the presence of a woman. To say it is stereotypical wouldn’t be correct. Needless to say it is an unfair portrayal of men.
Needing to refuel and tend to her injured leg (from the trap) she encounters a group of men hell bent on gang raping and probably robbing her. Lucky for her a female truck driver arrives just in time to save her skin. Once she’s been patched up and had a cup of tea she returns to the petrol station to get her van and after a lot of menacing eye contact with the leader of the gang she is on her way again. I think it is just after this point that the same gang leader finds her and attempts to carry out the rape he failed at the first time round. Eve shoots him and leaves his body with a flower on it which the police chief finds.
It becomes a bit of a merry-go-round from here with her falling into the same situations with countless men and the chief almost, but not quite, finding her. However, the men she stole the money and the gun from do find her and they have a stand-off in a later episode which sees them falling foul to traps she has planted and eventually leads to her being saved by one of the (very) few nice men she comes across.
I’m not sure how long the series spans, but during it she finds a job in a bar and makes some friends who she is very close with and is even going to be maid of honour for one of them at her wedding. Until Mick finds and kills her that is. She is either the most well-adjusted or resilient young woman I have ever come across. Despite all her brushes with danger and death she continues to search for the man who butchered her family with nothing more than a dog (sometimes) for company. When she finds the parents of another missing girl she suspects has been killed by Mick she goes to their home posing as a reporter to speak with them in the hopes of gaining information. The info is lacking but what she does find is a psychopathic father who killed his daughter in his underground snake room and who then tries to kill Eve. You couldn’t make this stuff up. Oh, wait…
Bitten by a highly venomous snake from the man’s lair she is rescued by a nomad who wraps her bite and waits for her magical powers to heal her once again. Fully recovered, he then teaches her how to use a spear which she learns in record time, becoming incredibly adept at hunting rabbits for her supper. Gaining ground on the murderer she finds a book he has left for her which details the disappearance of his sister when he was a child. Ah. So that’s why he is a murdering psychopath.
Suffice to say she eventually finds Micks lair where he has the chief of police who, at some point in the whole debacle has fallen in love with Eve. Maybe it’s because he is only one of two or three male characters who hasn’t tried to rape her, but she is in love with him too.
The final encounter she has with Mick is both slightly ridiculous and cliché. Sneaking into his house she falls through some floorboards which is, coincidentally exactly where he buried his parents bodies years ago. Spot on, sat-nav. Using her newly found and quickly honed spear throwing skills she tries to hit him but misses so makes a run for it instead. Heading to his barn she finds the chief trussed up and in a bad way. He tells her to run but strangely when it really matters he can’t find his voice to tell her Mick is right behind her. A fight breaks out and the chief manages to free himself of the bonds that have bound him for goodness knows how long and the roof comes crashing down on him and Mick. Eve runs back into the house to get her bag and weapons. Arming herself with a fire poker as a make-shift spear because Mick snapped the other, she is taken by surprise when he throws his hunting knife at her and it spears through her shoulder. At this point there is a lot of animalistic grunting going on which was a bit over the top. Especially when she isn’t injured enough to stop her throwing the fire poker at him and pinning him through the chest to wall behind. Brick wall, might I add. She then takes the snapped spear and sticks both parts in him before pulling the knife out of her shoulder ready to use on him. He dies before she gets the chance.
Going back to the barn she finds the chief who cringingly whispers his love for her in a sickening, banal scene. Returning to the house she sets it on fire before falling asleep on the floor outside. Exhausting work being a martyr.
When she wakes the next day she enters the house which is still smoking, but oddly enough has escaped without its white walls being charred black. Entering the room where she had her final encounter with the serial killer she sees only the fire poker still lodged in the wall. Yep, Mick has escaped by extracting himself from a two foot long metal spike. Does she care? Nope. She just turns and leaves without even so much as a look of mild inconvenience. Laying out the chiefs’ body she covers him with flowers before wandering off into the desert.
You’d think it would end there but it doesn’t. Next thing we see her walking along a road when a truck pulls alongside her and who should get out but the woman who helped her and gave her a cup of tea. Getting in the cab of the truck she also finds her dog/dingo who was found two days before by the truck driver. Not bad considering it’s the only dog in the whole of Australia. As if that wasn’t corny enough, watching in the distance is the old nomad who taught her how to throw a spear. Considering she had travelled across what appeared to be many, many miles of outback, how lovely was it that two of the only kind folks she had met were in the same area watching out for her? Yawn.
Overall I was disappointed. John Jarrett was good as Mick Taylor but he could not save the poor and lazy script. I would be intrigued to know what Australians thought to it. After all, it’s neither a fair representation, nor a good advertisement for their beautiful country.
It has left it open for a second series which I sense is on the horizon. I truly hope if they do make another it is free from the eye-rolling repetitiveness and filler which has littered this season.
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American Horror Story 6 - My Roanoke Nightmare Episode 3

10/6/2016

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Like a gnarled and decaying hand of a zombie rising from its grave wrapping around my ankle, this has me well and truly gripped now. The third episode in the latest offering of horror was very creepy and just a little bit gruesome.
With Flora missing, Lee and her family have a race on their hands to find the little girl. Was she abducted by the weird hillbilly-family-next-door, or is something much more sinister guilty of taking the child? Lee firmly believes it is the former so they start searching in the woods for her. Finding part-pig, part-doll effigies that would make your blood run cold they feel like they are closing in on the answer. When they come across an abandoned house they are repulsed to find the state it has been left in. But something much, much more disturbing awaits them in the barn…
After the shocking discovery they are no closer to finding the whereabouts of Flora. As the hours turn into days Lee is losing hope until an eccentric and enigmatic psychic by the name of Cricket Marlowe (perfect name for this character!) shows up at the farmhouse, uninvited and unexpected. Assuring the devastated mother he can help find her missing daughter he tunes into his abilities and learns she has been taken by Pricilla, a dead child who up until then Lee believed just to be a figment of Flora’s imagination. Buoyed by the news he then delivers the blow of the cost of his services. Money they can’t afford. After Matt throws him out Lee sneaks away to meet him and hands over the money he asked for.
His return to the house offers viewers an eerie scene of a séance where he makes contact with the butcher played by Kathy Bates – a Roanoke settler who was banished by her own and left for dead until a mysterious witch saved her and gave her the power to exact her revenge. She knows where the child is but will she return her to her mother?
Matt and Shelby’s relationship is tested when Shelby makes a stumbles upon a shocking sight which Matt has no memory of. Are the forces of evil trying to divide and conquer? Can they overcome their problems? When Shelby calls the police on Lee, believing her to have murdered in cold blood it seems unlikely.
What do the long deceased have in store for them? I, for one, can’t wait to find out.
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American Horror Story 6 – My Roanoke Nightmare Episodes 1 & 2

9/27/2016

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I am a huge fan of AHS and couldn’t wait for season 6 to start. What’s not to love? Each season is diverse and frightening in its own way and I like the fact they use a lot of the same actors for each season. The trailers for season 6 looked spectacularly creepy without giving anything away and I was desperate to find out what it was about. After a haunted horror house, a demonic asylum, a witches coven, a bizarre freak show and a hotel for which space and time was no barrier I was itching to see what wonders the writers had in store for us fans this time.
My Roanoke Nightmare is the answer.
Think true-life ghost story documentary and you’ve got it. I must admit, the first episode left me feeling a little bit let down. It was weird to say the least to see actors from previous AHS seasons playing ‘real’ people and also some other well-known AHS actors playing roles of said ‘real’ people. A TV series within a TV series but nowhere near as complicated as the dream within a dream concept of Inception. A little strange to get your head around at first (or was that just me?). Then there was the episode itself. While it was good, I must say I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would (quite possibly my own fault for getting too excited about it beforehand). It seemed to be lacking in the wicked and sometimes grotesque horror I have come to know and love about AHS.
It started with a bit of back story about the two main characters Shelby (played by the wonderful Lily Rabe) and Matt. Before moving out into the countryside they lived in a bustling city and were happily expecting their first child together. When Matt is savagely attacked by a group of youths who were completing their gang initiation, he ends up in hospital and the ensuing stress takes its toll on the pregnant Shelby and they tragically lose their baby. To get away from the memories and the fear that Shelby constantly lives in, they decide to move somewhere quiet and away from the high crime rates. Finding an old farmhouse in a rural setting up for auction they use their life savings to snap it up – much to the chagrin of locals who were also interested in purchasing the house. And so begins their Roanoke Nightmare.
Settling into a new home for anyone brings with it strange noises in the night. But are the noises in Matt and Shelby’s home the result of ghosts or angry locals? There are a few times in the first episode where you are left guessing which one is responsible for the frights. Perhaps a little bit of both? There is a Blair Witch feel to one part when creepy wooden effigies are strewn around their home but it still lacked in the fear factor stakes.
If the first episode tiptoes quietly through the horror factor, creating some eerie but wholly explainable scenes, the second episode positively jumps in feet first. I was slightly disappointed in the first one but I wasn’t about to give up on a show I love so much and boy am I glad I didn’t. The second episode delved much deeper into the farmhouse’s past and the horrors its four walls had been witness to. Matt’s niece comes to stay with them as her mother has moved in to comfort Shelby and the scenes with the little girl offer some spine-tingling moments. There were times when I wanted to shake the characters for going off alone in the dark to investigate strange noises or to follow the spectre of a woman in the cellar or watching an old video recording of a previous owner who seems downright delirious, but that’s what makes for good viewing. It also introduced the great Kathy Bates as a character who is truly terrifying and who I look forward to seeing more of.
Now I cannot wait for episode 3. I have seen countless true haunting documentaries and AHS have nailed it. So, bring on the scares AHS. I’m ready!

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Final Deletion vs Wyatt's Compound

7/13/2016

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Broken Originality

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​The wrestling world has come a long way regarding storylines and characters. The fact that for the most part, fans can and do accept bizarre situations in wrestling only adds to its lure. The perfect example of this is Hardy vs Hardy. Matt vs Jeff. Broken Matt vs Brother Nero. Final Deletion. The planning and build up for this epic spectacle was executed with nothing less than sheer brilliance. TNA took their time with setting the scene, which was vital considering it was two brothers whose relationship has been documented countless times over the years while becoming one of the greatest tag teams of all time. Their bond was strong, unbreakable, or so I always thought. So the fact that they came to blows more than once recently needed to be handled very carefully and not rushed into.
So started the Hardy vs Hardy feud. I’m sure for many, including me; it was watched with great anticipation and fascination. Having grown up watching the Hardy’s on tv every week, this new dynamic to the brothers brought with it huge potential and excitement. To see the changes in Matt slowly becoming apparent was incredibly thrilling and so well done I was invested in it from the start. The more ‘broken’ Matt became, the more I wanted to see. Am I the only one who is reminded of Zoolander every time Matt speaks? He is quite literally amazing and should be receiving nothing but praise. I have always admired both Matt and Jeff, but this new character Matt created has gone above and beyond anything I could imagine and he has pulled it off with such perfection it’s difficult to think of him in any other way now. I absolutely love that with the seriousness and downright brutality of the feud also comes some humour and truly hilarious moments that will live in many wrestling fans’ memories (“A dilapidated boat!”). Comedy in wrestling is difficult to pull off at the best of times so for it to go hand in hand with a very sensitive storyline such as this it had to be done correctly. It was.

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​So, what way to better commemorate them than by having a ‘Final Deletion’ match at Matt’s home in North Carolina? I had all sorts in my head of what would happen but I can honestly say that it was way, way beyond anything I could have dreamed up. After seeing the teaser trailer Impact put out (Fireworks? Water? Flames licking the sky? OH MY GOD!!) I was left on the edge of my seat waiting for the full segment to be shown. With such a hype being built online I was desperate for it to live up to people’s expectations. In my opinion it surpassed them by a million miles. Even in today’s day and age where many things go and wrestling continues to push the boundaries for the fans entertainment, I honestly was not expecting what I saw. It was just crazy with a capital C! The onset at Maxel’s birthday was very funny and flamboyant and added a bit of light entertainment to something that could have quite easily gone the other way and become very macabre. Reby Sky’s involvement was excellent and understandable. The drone scene provided one of the most hilarious moments I’ve seen in wrestling. Extremely entertaining from start to finish with just the right amount of comedy thrown in (Matt’s face when he saw Jeff had the fireworks … priceless!). My kids loved it as much as my husband and I did which shows what a wide range of viewers it relates to.
The buzz it generated was well deserved and spot on. It was the most incredible, insane work of pure brilliance I have EVER seen on any wrestling show. It was simple, not over worked and the focus was solely on Matt and Jeff thanks to the understated music which could have been a stereo playing by the ring it was so unobtrusive, and the camera work was like watching a home movie – it worked so well with the premise. There were no Hollywood-esque scenes even though some of the action was so surreal it wouldn’t be out of place in a big blockbuster movie. Even the weapons were kept simple. Jeff climbing the tree was excellent. I would look upon it as only a tree. He looked upon it as a way to hurt and destroy Matt. Their story was told throughout the entire thing and although I’m sure some people would disagree with how good I think it was, I think as long as it is taken how it was intended then there is nothing not to like. The ending was shocking and superb.
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​Now, while I completely understand that there are certain things which will be done and re-done by wrestling companies (storyline ideas aren’t endless, I get that), the whole Wyatt family/New Day promo and subsequent fight seemed to be a blatant rip-off of the Final Deletion. Of course I don’t blame WWE for trying to emulate such a brilliant segment, especially as it received a huge amount of positive press. BUT … so soon after? And going to such great lengths to imitate it? That’s a no-no from me. Surely Vince pays his creative writing staff humongous amounts of money. So why is it the best they can come up with is ripping off Impact? Talk about jumping on the bandwagon. TNA have been mercilessly harassed in the past for so called ‘copying’, yet WWE seem, for the most part to continue to get away with it time and time again. I can only assume they are catering for their fans who only watch WWE and will therefore think the Wyatt and New Day fight was genius writing.

​You won’t hear anything bad from me regarding the Wyatt’s and New Day. I thought they did a very good job with what they were told to do. And I do love the Wyatt family. But surely they were cringing just a little bit inside when they were told what was expected of them. Surely it would have been better to let the dust settle on the Final Deletion before attempting to pull off their own brutal massacre. I’m not taking anything away from the wrestlers. I enjoyed the segment and loved the horror aspect the Wyatt’s brought to it, although I didn’t enjoy the camera work trying to make it look like the Hollywood blockbuster that the Final Deletion went to great lengths to avoid. I just think that it was disrespectful and a very low thing to do on WWE’s part. However, I do think it has had largely the opposite effect that they would have wanted and I think most wrestling fans have seen through it and realised they are just trying to get a slice of the Impact cake. Again, I can’t blame them. That cake is one to be sought after. But because WWE were so desperate to get in on the action their version had almost no build whatsoever which in any good feud is something that is essential. Nor did it warrant an invitation to the Wyatt’s compound in the middle of the night far from any civilisation. There was no explanation as to why the New Day, out of all the previous foes of the Wyatt’s deserved something so different and radical. And why would anybody in their right minds actually go when it is ‘just’ a feud? The Hardy’s feud was very different. Two brothers who have such a deep and painful hatred in them that only something drastic would quench. The New Day could have been countless other enemies to the Wyatt’s and vice-versa. So why them? Because it comes down to the fact that Vince and whoever he has working for him couldn’t  bear for something so ridiculously popular and fantastic to be happening to another company. That’s what it always comes down to. That and very poor, sloppy writing. For the amount his writers are paid I could come up with good, new ideas. Just saying, Vince.
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​Yes, the Final Deletion was different. But different is good and the viewer ratings and consequent press have proven that. So maybe next time WWE should try and be different instead of trying to be the same whilst pretending they are doing the opposite.
So for the few who hated the Final Deletion, just be aware of the many similarities between that and the Wyatt/New Day battle. And bear in mind that without the awesome Hardy vs Hardy storyline, the Wyatt and New Day feud would have differed greatly from the segment that WWE were so quick to put out there. No Final Deletion, no compound battle.
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Peaceful Falls - Prologue

5/6/2016

1 Comment

 
His sock-clad feet slapped through the muddy undergrowth collecting leaves and forest debris on the soles. His breath plumed out in front of him like fog as it left the warmth of his mouth and hit the cold night air. He crashed through the dense trees, the twigs snagging on his shorts trying to hinder his progress. He barely registered the pain of the thick and prickly forest floor puncturing his feet as they pounded the ground, muscles burning with exertion. Once or twice he lost his footing and slipped in the wet mud, falling to one knee but immediately pushing up on his leaden legs and continuing on his arduous journey. His chest, on the verge of exploding, felt like it was filled with red-hot sticky tar that invaded each alveolus, but still he didn’t stop, just sucked in more air with a painful breath and carried on. He couldn’t see a thing and his hands which had been used as a shield to protect his face now pumped at his sides as he pushed on with everything he had. He was faster with them working with him and the luxury of time was something he no longer had. Scratches to his face were of little importance in the grand scheme of things, he decided.
He knew he was making too much noise. The pounding of his feet, the rustling of bushes as he sped by, the squelching of the sodden earth and his panting breath seemed magnified by a thousand to his ears. He couldn’t risk slowing down though.
Christ, his chest was on fire. He was trying to take in deep gasps of air but his lungs only seemed to be working at a quarter capacity. His sprint eased to a sudden, agonising lope when cramp squeezed his calf muscles and refused to let go. Shit! This was all he needed. He limped on, wincing at the spasm in his leg, able to draw in a little more breath now he had slowed down. He didn’t know where he was going. He could be running in circles for all he knew. He hoped not. His life literally depended on it.
As the moon crept out from behind a cloud his path was illuminated and he spotted a thick fallen tree which would shield him from view while he caught his breath and thought about his next move. Next move. What a fucking joke. He was in the middle of nowhere, barely dressed, freezing cold and fighting for his life. What could his next move possibly be? Maybe he could turn back and have a quiet chat with the psychopaths who were trying to kill him. Perhaps he could talk some sense into them, tell them they had the wrong guy. Oh yeah, he was sure they’d listen to him, probably even apologise when they realised he wasn’t who they were after. A burst of laughter escaped his dry throat and quickly turned into a sob. Fuck! He wanted to shout it out loud, to vent his anger to the dark and silent forest he was in. He knew he couldn’t. The only thing it would do would be to alert his pursuers.
Slumping to the ground he worked his calf muscle hard with his cold, stiff fingers, trying to ease the ache of the cramp. His socks were drenched and he knew it wasn’t all from the mud. He was positive the soles of his feet would be bleeding but that was the least of his worries. Taking in deliberate deep breaths he managed to calm his breathing down although there was nothing he could do to stop the shaking of his limbs or the thundering of his heart. To his right some twigs cracked. He held his breath, concentrating on the area he thought the noise had come from. He didn’t hear it again. Surely he had run far enough. They wouldn’t know where he was now.
Resting his head against the rough bark of the log he squeezed his eyes tightly closed to stop the inevitable tears escaping. The sound of Matt screaming still reverberated through his skull. Fuck! He should have stayed and helped him, should have gone back for him. He shouldn’t have been such a pussy and ran off into the night. He didn’t even know if Matt was still alive. Or Jason. He hadn’t seen if they’d caught Jason. Hopefully he’d managed to get away. Maybe he was running through the forest right now trying to find his way out. Poor Matt though. Poor, eyeless Matt. He selfishly wished he had run before he’d seen them take his eyes, before he’d heard him scream like a wild animal being slaughtered. But he hadn’t. Fucking sick pieces of shit. They’d been waiting. The bastards. He should have done something. What, he didn’t know, but he should have helped Matt somehow. Instead he’d run like a fucking pansy and now he had no idea where he was or what was happening to his friends.
Banging his head on the rough wood he let out a low moan. He didn’t know what he should do, whether he should run or stay put. He felt like he’d been running for hours but he knew it was probably only mere minutes in reality. Was he far enough away that they wouldn’t find him? He hoped to god he was. He didn’t want to die. His mum would be devastated. She went to pieces when he landed himself in prison a few years ago for theft. If he died he didn’t know how she would cope. If his body was never found she wouldn’t be able to go on. He wanted his mum now. He smiled a sad smile as he imagined her squaring up to the psycho’s, telling them to leave her son alone. She wouldn’t be scared, not when it involved protecting her boy.
He needed to man up. Willing himself to calm down he tried to think. He didn’t know which way the road was but if he could just find somewhere to hide he could wait it out until the morning, then he was sure he’d be able to find his way. There was the small shack that doubled as the reception but he couldn’t hide there. He was quite certain that would be one of the first places they’d look. He could climb a tree! If he could climb up he could stay there all night, they would never find him there.
The cracking of twigs came again from his right and he snapped his head round to look, willing his eyes to see into the darkness but he saw nothing, for the night was black. He was disorientated and terrified. He knew the noise could have a perfectly innocent explanation. He also knew it might not have come from where he thought it did. His eyes were wide open as though the more he opened them, the more he would develop the ability of night vision. A rustling from his left and he turned in that direction, his breath beginning to speed up as his eyes saw black shadows darting around, playing tricks on him. Poor Matt would never have that problem again. He was imagining things. There was no-one there. They couldn’t possibly find him here. If he couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of his face then they wouldn’t be able to either. But still, he felt like he was being watched. Closing his eyes to the terror of uncertainty his other senses took over as his ears heard the soft footsteps approaching, the low breathing nearing him.
Opening his eyes, he screamed.

Peaceful Falls will be available on Amazon soon. Check back for updates or follow Michelle on Twitter here

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Decay

2/16/2016

3 Comments

 
​Decay… Decay… Decay…
A small word that has had a big impact (pun intended) in the wrestling world. A new faction who have brought genuine creepiness and horror to the world of professional wrestling – which, as has been proven many times before, is not an easy feat.
 
In the wake of horror becoming much more mainstream thanks to the likes of American Horror Story and Penny Dreadful, TNA wrestling have grabbed hold of an idea and ran with it. No longer is horror something that should be far removed from the world of pro wrestling. With genius insight and absolutely amazing characters (and wrestlers who portray them, of course) it is what wrestling fans like myself have been crying out for over the years.
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​The Decay are a group of misfits to put it nicely. To put it not so nicely would be to say that they are deranged, dangerous and downright disturbing … but in the best way possible! Seeing them on TV is an unnerving treat, but seeing them live as I have had the opportunity to do when they came to Manchester recently, is quite possibly the highlight of my horror-loving life.
                                                                                                              
Picture the scene … the lights in the entire arena go out and it is pitch black. The thumping, eerie music starts and a spotlight shines on three figures, three very sinister figures that stand at the top of the ramp staring menacingly. They are enough to send shivers down your spine. In the back there is Abyss – an almost 7 foot monster towering over everyone and demanding nothing but respect, his mask adding to the terror of such an imposing sight. Next to him is Crazzy Steve (yes, I meant to put two z’s – he is crazzy after all) – his face painted like an insane clown, which, incidentally is my biggest fear, an evil grin on his ghoulish face, head tilted to the side at an angle which is reminiscent of one of my all-time favourite horror characters Michael Myers. Then in the front you have Rosemary. Never again will I hear that name without it conjuring up images straight out of a scary movie. Just the way Rosemary moves is enough to chill you to the bone. Her loping gait and her dead, black eyes are the last thing you would want to see approaching you. Her speaking skills are flawless and the way she talks in riddles reminds me of Harley Quinn from Batman.
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​When I first saw the start of The Decay with Crazzy Steve and Abyss it was something I could not wait to see play out. The addition of Rosemary has been the icing on top of a disgusting, gruesome, inedible cake. The dynamics that we see play out slowly week after week intrigue me and I can honestly say that I could easily sit and watch a whole hour of this weird and wonderful group.
 
Do The Decay scare me? Heck yes! Do they leave me wanting to tell everyone about them? Absolutely. Would I like to meet them? Not a chance in hell. So, if you are a wrestling fan or even if you’re just a fan of horror and are looking for something very unsettling mixed in with the excitement then I recommend you check out The Decay. I DARE YOU …
 
Catch Impact Wrestling on the POP network in America on Tuesdays at 9/8c and on Challenge in the UK on Sundays at 9pm.
3 Comments

Unfriended

8/11/2015

0 Comments

 
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I recently watched this movie and I must admit, I wasn’t holding out much hope for it. I thought it would be another run-of-the-mill, lack-lustre offering in the already overloaded ‘found footage’ genre.

How wrong I was!

From the very start it offers up something that no other film I have ever seen does. It is all based on a laptop computer, so think emails, IM, video calls, that kind of thing. While I did remain sceptical about how the entire film would play out in this way, I was pleasantly surprised by the different approach. If someone had told me how it was presented before I’d watched it (I don’t read full reviews beforehand, just the titles and ratings on IMDB, if anything), I don’t think I would have been too keen to watch it. I would have assumed there was no way any kind of atmospheric tension would pass to me through the characters computer screen.

Again, how wrong I was.
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The film starts off with the main character Blaire (it is her computer we are witnessing everything unfold on) watching a video clip of a young woman, Laura Barns, committing suicide because she was a victim of cyber-bullying. Good way to start and it had my attention. Probably a good thing because what comes next is a few minutes of light-hearted fun when Blaire is on Skype with her boyfriend. If it had started like this I think I would have given an inward groan. I was looking forward to a horror, after all.

But these few minutes of flirting are the first and only scenes of innocence and joviality. It is only when some of their other friends join them on Skype that things begin to take a sinister turn. There is an unknown profile involved in their group chat and none of them know who it is, nor is there any way for them to get rid of their stalker. In between the video chats we see Blaire and her boyfriend Mitch messaging each other about who the stranger is. It is mentioned that it’s the first anniversary of the death of Laura and we are given the information that they all knew her and Blaire was good friends with her.

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What they first believe to be a prank quickly escalates when they are forced to take part in a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ that the stranger wants them to play. They are all asked a series of intimate questions which have traumatic and dangerous consequences.

The creepy atmosphere in this real-time movie is relentless throughout and is helped along by clever writing and well-timed, subtle additions. Although it is not what I would call truly scary, it is very unnerving and unsettling and it gives a strong anti-cyber-bullying message on different levels.

The actors were credible, especially Shelley Hennig who plays Blaire. Connecting with the viewer indirectly is a challenge that, for me this film has achieved. I felt as much tension as if it was filmed in the usual way, if not more because I found I was constantly looking in the background of the webcams to see if anything was happening.

In today’s world of quick scare tactics I think this movie created something new that very much ties in with the times we live in. It takes something we see as completely benign and turns it into something to be feared and the underlying message of how devastating cyber-bullying can be is a powerful one.

Judging by reviews on IMDB (which I read after I’d seen the movie), the majority of people either love it or hate it. I loved it. Will you?
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Poltergeist 2015

6/29/2015

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I watched this at the weekend, and, after seeing the trailer for it, I was quite looking forward to it, although I was slightly dubious because of the whole ‘remake’ thing. I mean, why fix something that’s not broken?

Remakes, in my opinion, are rarely anywhere near as good as their original counterpart (The Fog, Halloween, Predators, to name a few), but there are some that not only live up to the hype, but out-do the original in scare factor and these benefit from the large strides film making and technology has taken over the years.

However, unfortunately, I don’t class this remake as better than the original. In fact, I don’t think it even came close. There were quite a few things that bugged me about it. First off were the unlikeable and unbelievable characters. I am not blaming the actors at all, I think they did their best with what they were given, but I found it difficult to believe that I was watching the same Sam Rockwell who gave an outstanding and intense portrayal of ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton in The Green Mile. They were all very much blasé and not too bothered by the whole experience. Even when their little girl went missing, the mother didn’t take much convincing not to go to the police about it, and when she was sat speaking to the psychic researchers she could have just as easily been discussing the weather rather than her missing daughter. The researchers themselves were laughable. One of them has something seemingly unexplainable happen to him that visibly scares him, and then he is seen a very short time after, implying they are making the whole thing up. If that wasn’t hypocritical enough, at one point something which should be terrifying happens to him, and in fairness, he does react like he is shook up…but only for that scene. In the next part he seems absolutely fine again, like nothing untoward was going on at all. As for the psychic, well, I instantly disliked him. Everything was a joke to him and even when he was trying to be serious he just didn’t have the ring of truth about him. All of his explanations were just accepted. Why? Wouldn’t it be much better if he was questioned as to how he knew the bodies from the cemetery under the house hadn’t been moved like they were told? Or maybe why, as a psychic there to help he didn’t really do anything different to the researchers? Once this character is introduced, the teenage girl loses any depth of character (hmm…) she had and becomes totally star-struck and not at all concerned for her little sister and their house full of ghosts.
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Another thing I just did not like was the use of the latest gadgets. Fine, incorporating technology into films isn’t a bad thing. Without it we wouldn’t have lived the terror of Katie and Micah in Paranormal Activity and all the subsequent found footage films, so I am certainly not against using it. It opens up a world of possibilities to scare viewers and I liked the part where the teenage girl was picking up on something via her phone, although personally I think much more could have been done with that angle. What I didn’t like though is the immediate and again, nonchalant use of the drone with a camera attached to it. I found myself yet again asking, why? Why would a psychic enter a haunted house and straight away decide the best course of action would be to send in a drone? This comes back to the believability (or not) of it all. They didn’t use any such thing in the original, yet that still managed to produce a creepy atmosphere that lasted the entire film. Sometimes, not seeing something is worse than seeing. The scenes they did take from the original were outdone to a comical standard, which I’m sure is not what they were going for, but someone should have told them that bigger isn’t always better.

There was a part in it that I found genuinely scary though. The scene with the clowns was terrifying for me, as someone who hates clowns with a passion. Everything that went into that scene was eerie, but unfortunately, it was only pretty much that scene that did it for me.

Overall, it seemed like they remade a film but changed too much about it for my liking. I know there wouldn’t be any point in remaking it exactly the way it was, but the whole reason of remakes is to add something to its advantage, not take it away. This just solidifies my belief that it should have been left well alone.
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I just didn’t like it. I don’t think they should have done a remake. I don’t think it needed a remake and now I am just hoping they don’t remake Poltergeist 2, for the pure and simple reason that I honestly cannot see who they would get to play Kane that would be nearly as frightening as Julian Beck.

At the end of watching it I had to check that it was actually a horror and not a dark comedy. Nope. It is classed as a horror. And now I’m fed up of asking why…

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The Enfield Haunting

5/18/2015

2 Comments

 
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I was so looking forward to this mini-series as I have heard a lot about the true story on which it was based. In fact, I remember at a young age, seeing the photo of Janet seemingly levitating in a book about ghosts in one of my friends’ houses. Since then, it has always stayed with me. So when I saw the trailer for the series I couldn’t wait to watch it.

Based in the late 1970’s, it centres around the Hodgson family, mainly the 11 year old daughter Janet. The first episode sees Janet playing hide and seek in a cemetery where she sees an old man watching her. After that, strange occurrences begin happening in her home and she believes the old man to be a ghost who followed her home. When the happenings start to increase, the local media are called in, who capture photographic evidence and who then decide to contact the Society for Psychical Research.
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The first thing I will say is that I thought the acting was incredible. I watched the ‘Behind the Scenes’ episode too and the difference in the actors to their characters showed how well performed it was. Timothy Spall who played Maurice Gross and Juliet Stevenson who played his wife Betty, were particularly impressive during the more heart-wrenching scenes. Eleanor Worthington-Cox who played Janet was just wonderful in her role and she was very convincing as a confused, frightened little girl. A small (very small) thing I disliked about it though, was the music in the background in particular parts. When the marbles and lego were being thrown around the room, the music seemed to belittle what was happening and make it seem like a bit of a joke. I’m not sure if this was the intentions of the producers or not, but if it was then I don’t know why they would do that when other parts were so serious.

What was most interesting about the series is that it left it open to interpretation. Yes, it showed things that were inexplicable, but it also steered clear of labelling it one way or another – honouring the opposing views from people regarding the true story. I think that was rather refreshing, as it gave me the chance to reflect on whether I believed it was real or not. I must say, I am still doubtful to its origin either way. Part of me wants to think it was real, and with such a variety of people, including professionals, witnessing the phenomena, it is quite easy to believe that something did happen that was otherworldly.

However, there are people, again, professionals, who think it was all a hoax, be it intentional or not. Now, I am not sure where I stand on the belief that a young girl can make noises and move objects just because she is of pubescent age, although I do agree there could be many other factors involved including group hysteria where they all believe they saw or heard the same thing. That brings me to the voice of the old man. I would say it was Janet putting it on, pretending it was the ghost talking through her – that is until you see Maurice fill her mouth with water and tape it up and the voice still speaks. It is documented that the same experiment happened in the true story, with the same results. That makes it a lot more difficult to explain. There are a lot of conflicting opinions surrounding telekinesis and while I believe the mind is very powerful, I don’t believe it can move objects through will alone.

So, where does that leave me? Undecided. I enjoyed The Enfield Haunting and I watched ‘Interview with a Poltergeist’ which spoke to the real-life people involved, but there are too many conflicting sides for me to settle on one belief. I would have to say that, yes, I believe the family were haunted by a poltergeist, but that I also believe a lot of it was either them playing pranks or their imagination. Either way, I am not sure we will ever know the truth behind the story, but The Enfield Haunting makes a very enjoyable and interesting watch and I would recommend it for anyone, whether a believer or a sceptic, as it covers both aspects nicely.

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Sports Autobiographies: Part Two

5/11/2015

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Welcome back. Last week I talked about footballing autobiographies. This week I want to focus on another of my loves – wrestling.
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So, off the topic of football and onto wrestling. WWE to be precise (or WWF as they were known at the time I read the books.) Mick Foley’s ‘Have a Nice Day: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks’ is a fun and captivating insight into the glitz and glory of professional wrestling through the eyes of a family man and one of the craziest people in the world (my opinion only). Mick is well known for his hardcore wrestling style and his willingness to take ridiculous bumps (remember when his tooth came out of his nose after being choke slammed off a stupidly high steel cage, courtesy of The Undertaker?) and this book reveals the background behind his alter-egos ‘Cactus Jack’, ‘Dude Love’ and ‘Mankind’. It is a heart-warming and insane look into the real life of someone who set the boundaries and raised the bar for every professional wrestler to come after him. Well worth a read.

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Another extremely insightful wrestling book and one of my favourites is Eric Bischoff ‘Controversy Creates Cash’. Bischoff is hated by a great many wrestling fans and is blamed for single-handedly causing the demise of WCW but surely, even the people who dislike him have to admit the man is an absolute genius. I have never read a book like this and the shrewdness of his mind is clear to see in the pages as he describes his time in WCW and his plan to beat WWE in the Monday Night Wars. He is a businessman like you would expect a businessman to be. He does what is best for the company and screw anyone who doesn’t like it! He doesn’t care he is hated, hence the name of his book, and in his eyes any publicity is good publicity. The way his mind works is pure brilliance and I would love to see him involved in the wrestling business again. As a huge TNA fan I loved his stint at the company and I think he is too good to not be involved in the wrestling business somehow. Like him or loathe him, this book is a must-read for any wrestling fan.

There are so many other books I could have spoken about but in the interest of not going on too long I will just mention the ones worth reading here – ‘A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex’ by Chris Jericho, ‘The Rock Says’ by (yep, you guessed it) The Rock, ‘Hitman’ by Bret Hart,’ ‘Cheating Death, Stealing Life’ by the wonderfully talented and sadly missed Eddie Guerrero, ‘The Stone Cold Truth’ by Stone Cold Steve Austin and finally ‘Foley is Good: And the Real World is Faker than Wrestling’ by Mick Foley.

Just on an end note, there are some wrestlers who I would love to see write an autobiography about their lives. The first one is Samoa Joe. An incredible wrestler, he is a man who speaks his mind and isn’t afraid to do so. I think a book by him would give the reader an in-depth look into the world of indie wrestling and the bigger stage of TNA. I would definitely buy it! Another I would like to see write a book is someone who tells it how it is; former WWE and TNA colour commentator Taz - as he has had years of experience and must have so many stories from ECW and the other promotions he has worked for, not to mention the wrestlers he has had the opportunity to work with. If C.M Punk were to write a biography I would certainly buy that one. Someone who I think would have brilliant stories to tell is TNA president Dixie Carter. She is a very intelligent woman who cares a great deal for her wrestlers and her fans (why else would she allow Bully Ray to power-bomb her through a table?!) and I would thoroughly enjoy reading about her life so far.

Well, that’s it for this week. I could have gone on and on and on but I had to call it a day at some point. I have a feeling that my wrestling chit-chat is not over for good though so stay tuned :)
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Sports Autobiographies: Part One.

5/4/2015

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Firstly I would like to touch briefly on some recent news. I was saddened to hear of Rio Ferdinand’s wife Rebecca Ellison losing her battle with cancer over the weekend. It is always sad to hear of anyone losing their lives but when they are so young and leave behind young children it is even more of a terrible tragedy. My thoughts are with Rio and his family at this sad time.

Another piece of sad news was the passing of Ruth Rendell, an inspiration for many and a house-hold name in literature who also wrote under the pseudonym Barbara Vine. Her books will leave a lasting legacy.

As always, where there is bad there is good and the news of the newest addition to the royal family was lovely to hear. William and Kate made very proud looking parents as they took their baby daughter home and I am sure George will adore his little sister.



Sports autobiographies: part one.

Now to the subject of this blog – sports autobiographies. I will be doing this in two parts as I have a lot I want to talk about, so this is part one. I haven’t read as many of them as I would like to – I’m working on that – but the ones I have read have all given me a great insight into the people behind them, some of who I love nothing better than watching on a Saturday afternoon.

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Jeff Stelling ‘Jelleyman’s Thrown A Wobbly: Saturday Afternoons in Front of the Telly’ is an absolute gem. Jeff is one of the previously mentioned people who I love to watch on Soccer Saturday. His enthusiasm is infectious and I find him hilarious. The knowledge he has about all things football quite frankly amazes me and in his book he talks about his ritual for getting all of his information (yep, he does all the research himself) for the upcoming matches. A die hard Hartlepool United fan, he is very open to his teams ups and downs (more downs that ups, unfortunately) and he is just an all-round funny guy who I could sit and watch for hours (in fact, the Saturday just gone I actually did sit and watch him for hours as he was on for an amazing 7 hours covering the last day of the season for the Championship). His friendship with the others on the Soccer Saturday panel is lovely and he talks about them all in his book with some rather comical tales. I would urge any football fan to read this book. Fab!

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Sticking with the Soccer Saturday theme I have also read (and loved) ‘How Not to be a Professional Footballer’ By Paul Merson. I love Paul Merson, both as a footballer and as a person. He very often gets tongue-tied on Soccer Saturday and it leads to mistakes that have me in hysterics and his book is full of funny anecdotes too as well as a much more serious and often sad narrative about his demon’s he has had – and overcome – in the past. There is much more to Paul than an absolutely awesome footballer and in his book he comes across as a genuinely ‘normal’ and warm guy who has had some troubles but who can now look back on them and laugh. A great read for any football fan.

There are a lot of footballing books I am aiming to read as soon as I can and here are a few of them – ‘Mr Unbelievable’ by Chris Kamara. He is another one who I find ridiculously funny and who ‘works like a beaver’ – ah, see what I did there??? – and I need to read his book! ‘Always Managing: My Autobiography’ by Harry Redknapp is one on my ‘to read’ list (I do hope he talks about when he was Paul Merson’s manager and he told him he was ill but really went on holiday!). I admire him very much and I think he is a fantastic manager and was very sad to see him leave QPR as I think he had an awful lot to offer them. Personally I’d love to see him in another manager’s role before retiring; fingers crossed! ‘Farewell but not Goodbye: My Autobiography’ by Sir Bobby Robson. Sir Bobby was a great manager and I imagine his story of his life and career to be nothing short of magnificent.

Well, I think that’s it for this blog. I hope you have enjoyed reading it and I hope I have maybe given you some ideas for your next read. As always, I’d love to hear what your favourite sports autobiographies are and if you have any recommendations for me then please let me know. ‘Sports autobiographies part two’ will be here next Monday, so be sure to check back in.
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